Can I hug you?
by Garota Inu
Summary: Kagome needs a hug. But this time the ones she holds dear are not by her side. A serie of run-ins with the Demon Lord might change everything. Or not... Some of the cliché themes of SessKag fanfics I decided to put in my way.
1. Who really was in need of help

**Author's note:**

Hey, guys! Just want to tell you this is a fanfic inspired in Tales from the House of the Moon. It's not the same story or something, but it'll have some similarities. I had this idea when Kagome asked Sesshoumaru if she could hug him, so… this is it **xD** I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inuyasha. Sad, but I don't.

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

**(Garota Inu)**

**Who was really in need of help.**

Seriously, what else she could say to her friends as an excuse for tiptoeing out of their campsite in the middle of the night? They knew better; they knew what probably had happened… Then, she didn't bother searching for the perfect excuse and said the first thing that came to her troubled mind.

"I just remembered I have a test tomorrow morning." Kagome said; her excitement as great as of a sloth. And it was clear – even for her – that Miroku and Sango, not even Shippou weren't buying it.

After all, the fact Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen when they woke up helped a lot.

Now, here she was, alone and depressing. With no one else besides her faithful yellow bag, her bow and arrows, wandering alone without path in Edo at_three a.m._… Kagome looked at the crescent moon in the sky and let herself drawn in its serenity, hoping that it'd less her pain. She smiled sadly. Would be THIS story she was going to tell to Souta's children? – yeah, she just couldn't imagine herself being with another man besides Inuyasha, really – Would be THIS poor love story she was going to see when she looked back at her life when she get gray and old?

_I fell in deep love for this man I had saved, but he was already in love with the woman who put him in trouble. I captivated him too, but he got really torn apart____between her and me. And during all that mess, I went out in the wildness in the middle o—_

A twig snapped a few meters ahead from her. And an arrow was already flaming in the aim of her bow.

Gradually, a shadow was appearing among the trees and Kagome immediately relaxed when she saw who was there, but still surprised for the sudden visit… or accidental meeting, she thought, 'cause it was very unlikely he was there to see her. "What are you doing here?", she asked softly, not wanting to break the calmness the crescent moon was lending her so caringly.

Silence and cold stare was all she got as an answer and Kagome secretly wondered if he was there to mock her further, but she discarded it shaking her head gently. She was sure he had more important things to do than waste his time with her.

And so did her. "If it's of no importance for you I stay here, I'll go back to my camp." She smiled, nodding at the direction where her friends were. "Just wanted to stretch out a little. See you." Sending him one last glance, she turned around to go away…

Just to bump straight on a silk-covered chest. Kagome looked up at him shocked, massaging her sore nose and resisting the urge of looking back and check if wasn't two Sesshoumarus there in the clearing. She sniffed. "If you came to kill me, I have to say to come back tomorrow when I'll be a prey less ridiculous. I'm very pathetic tonight.", she murmured.

"Of that I hold no doubts." Sesshoumaru said.

Suddenly, Kagome went from Depressive to Angry. Very angry. "Then, if you came to insult me, I–"

"Rin—" He cut her off, not wanting to waste time with trivial discussion with the messed miko. "—Is ill."

Now, from Angry to Worried. "What happened?", she asked. Lucky him for she was going to Medical School.

He didn't answer, just turned his back on her and walked away in a calm, steady pass. Kagome followed him, trying to think of something to start a conversation, since the silence was killing her.

Be blessed the moment this small task showed up to her. It was good to occupy her mind to not think of… of…

'_Will you keep your promise, Inuyasha?'_

_Silence. And then… 'When did I do different?'_

Kagome shook her head to stop that masochist line of thought and realized she was already crying. Terrified for crying in front of the Western Lord, she wiped her tears and opened her mouth to definitely start some talking, but Sesshoumaru was faster.

"Some healers and mikos were solicited to aid Rin, however none of them succeeded in even discover what she suffers of." He explained, not bothering in hide the disdain in his voice.

"What happens to her?" Kagome asked, looking at the back of his head. He eyed her over his shoulders for a second and said nothing. "I mean the symptoms. What've been happening to her?" She explained, but nothing. "You don't know, do you?" Seriously, what else she would think with his silence?

He let out a exasperate sigh. "Yes, I do – But what makes you think that this Sesshoumaru telling you would be more effective than you examining her personally?"

She shrugged. "Well, if you tell me I'd already have some possibilities for what she suffers of and it'd make things faster."

"Do you think of yourself that high?"

Kagome rolled her eyes. Of course she was qualified – she was from the future, for heaven's sake! "Try me.", she smirked.

Sesshoumaru kept his eyes on hers for a second or two and then returned his glance to the forest. "It rained. Rin likes to jump in puddles. And then she was coughing and burning; she says her chest aches when she breaths and other things."

"Pneumonia."

"Hn?"

"Rin has pneumonia." Kagome said, silently praising herself for her own efficiency. "She was exposed to many bacterias – Good thing she had a fever early."

"Pardon…?" Sesshoumaru hissed dangerously.

Kagome, who liked her head in its place, hurried to explain. "Yeah – Fever, in fact, is a sign that your body gives to warn you that something's wrong with it. That's why it was good she had a fever early. If it came too late, well… it could be too late."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and then began to walk again. "Hn."

The silence fell above them again and Kagome panicked. Silence – in nights like that night – was the worst hell she could live. She was in urgent need for_distractions_. And it was because of this need that relief washed over her when they arrived in the camp. She sighed, as relieved as angry. Angry for being so pathetic…

Kagome expected the insults, curses from Jaken, but nothing came, just the soft growl from Ah-Un. "Where's Jaken?", she asked, throwing her things near the two-headed horse.

Sesshoumaru walked – glided – towards Rin, took his pelt off his shoulder and wrapped it around her petite form.

Kagome gaped at him._'The pelt was detachable the whole time?'_

He sat on the ground and leaned against a tree – cross-legged and his only arm on his leg – and focused his near-full attention on the sick child. "Researching.", he said.

Kagome nodded and went to examine her first child as a patient, just to make sure if it was really pneumonia. After all, she was only in the second year on College. For a while, to examine Rin let Kagome happily busy – she even cursed herself for taking her stethoscope out of her pack last week – but after a while, it started to lose its effect and she found herself fighting to keep seeing Rin lying on the ground instead of Inuyasha.

'_Are you willing to die with me?'_

'_Are you willing to accept me as a Hanyou?'_

_Silence._

Kagome cleared her throat, wiping the few tears she had in her eyes and looked at Sesshoumaru with a false smile. "Ah, I'm going to my…" Oh, He wouldn't understand anyway... "My village and get some medicines for you to give to Rin, ok? I won't take long.", she said. "I promise."

Then, she ran.

x-•°•°•-x

'_Sixty-one – Sixty – Fifty-nine – Fifty-eight – Fifty-seven…'_

A sudden and loud sneeze from his ward interrupted him and in a blink of an eye he was by her side; his cold eyes free of any emotion examining each pore of Rin's body, looking for any sign of something strange. A low and short growl threatened to vibrate in his chest. Where is that woman, after all? She had told she would not take long, then why she was not here?

Sitting back on the base of a tree, Sesshoumaru cursed himself for trusting the weird miko. But what else could he have done? He searched many healers, mikos; monks and doctors… none of them were useful. And then – he admitted – in some despair, he remembered that woman could cure the monk of the poison from the Naraku's insects with a mere liquid and decided to go to her. And even expecting she would know what to do, he was surprised when she discovered Rin's illness just hearing the story. He admitted – at least to himself – that he got calm and sure of his ward's recovery when the miko said to not worry. But this… this was when she left… Now, Sesshoumaru just wanted to break that slim neck of hers.

A click snapped in his mind and remember of her made him remember that she was crying while examining Rin. Probably because of his half-brother, he concluded, not giving this matter a second thought. He wasn't interested in mundane gossips about triangular relationships.

Sesshoumaru lifted his head and rested it against the trunk of the tree, looking but not really seeing the stars and was nearly counting backward again when a cocktail of smells hit him right in the face, making him wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"Agh! Stupid root!" He heard her growl as she entered the clearing. "I'm already here!" She greeted.

"It is an outrage you saying 'already'." Sesshoumaru scolded her.

Kagome checked her watch and her eyes widened. "I took just fifteen minutes!"

"Is needed less than fifteen seconds for a human to die."

"Not of pneumonia."

A threatening growl echoed around them both from the Inu lord's chest and Kagome silently feared for her life, feeling her fear vibrate along with Sesshoumaru's growl. "I do not deposit my trust in what I have no knowledge of.", he said through his teeth.

"But I do and you need to trust me at least in 30% to…" Kagome trailed off. If she'd say_'ask for my help'_she would die; and if she'd say_'hire my services'_it would imply that she was collecting a payment, which she_wasn't_. "To call me." Yeah. At least that was good enough to keep her alive.

She saw Sesshoumaru narrowing his eyes dangerously and suddenly Kagome could feel the environment losing around 30 degrees. She could even imagine the Taiyoukai's claws starting to drip venom on her frail human neck. She swallowed hard. Kagome should've believed her aunt when she said that Kagome's sharp tongue would be her downfall one day… but she couldn't help it. It didn't matter if she was sweating because of fear; didn't matter if she was dying in Naraku's hand, she would never die like a coward pussy. And it was because of this same sharp tongue of hers – which she cursed – that she said "You better stop acting like this: all grumpy and all or you'll start to look like Inuyasha not just in appearance."

And she didn't even have time to giggle to try to make it better…

Faster than Kagome could see she was pinned in a tree; a hand tightening her throat, making it very hard to breath and Kagome toyed with the idea of doing nothing to stop him. Not that it'd work even if she_did_something, but… what would Inuyasha do when he found out? When he see her body without movement, when he listen to her beatless heart and her scent all over Sesshoumaru's hand; what would he do? Would he cry? Would he realize it was her the one he loved and would spend his life with their friends mourning silently?

She liked to think so…

Sesshoumaru saw her sucking a great amount of air to her lungs and then she_chuckled_. What was it with this woman? Did she forget who she was dealing with? Who he was? He mentally snorted. '_Of course not'_. No one has ever forgotten who he was and no one ever would. But the chuckling really made him curious. "I fail to see what is so amusing to you in a moment like this.", he said.

He saw her move her hand towards his head and though he should stop her he smelled no threat in her scent, so he didn't. He felt her fingers in his bangs and when he was able to see her hand again, there was a sakura petal between her fingers and a smile in her lips. "Don't worry, it looked stunning on you.", she fought to say. "Look, I just realized I don't mind, uh, much if you kill me or not, but let me at least take care of Rin first." Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes even more and Kagome wondered if he still could see her. "I'm the only one in this world who can help her."

And then, that was it. In a moment she was about to die and four or five seconds later she was on the ground coughing her ass off and alone in the clearing, excepting her patience. Kagome sighed, not surprised in nearly getting killed. It was Sesshoumaru she was dealing with, after all.

Kagome went for her bag and started her chores with the sleeping Rin. She checked her pressure; checked her breathing in search of any catarrh, and she found plenty; she checked her temperature: 95,5; and at last, she pinched Rin's skin lightly to see if she was hydrated and she wasn't. Already predicting this, Kagome took the physiologic saline from her bag along with the caterer. She liked to think she had a good hand for working with injections and wished Rin was awake to give her opinion. When she was done, Kagome grabbed her portable tripod and hanged the saline on it. Taking the bottle with medicine for Rin's illness, she took a little dose with the syringe and injected it into the saline container.

'_God, thank you for keeping me busy.'_, she whispered in her mind while listing the next things she had to do.

Well, that pelt will have to go. Although Rin might be feeling cold, she was hot and a bath would be good to her. Suddenly, Kagome face palmed. She'd already put the saline in Rin… The bath should be_before_all this._'Argh…'_, she sighed.

When she started Rin's treatment, Kagome wished Sesshoumaru was there to see her capacity, so she could prove herself to someone – anyone –, and show to everybody She. Was. Useful. But now she was grateful he wasn't there to see her stupidity. Kagome turned her head to look the fire. But then again, maybe he already knew she wasn't useless… otherwise he wouldn't have asked for her help, right…?

_Wrong._

First of all, Sesshoumaru didn't ask her help. He _solicited her services_. Secondly, he didn't solicit her services because he acknowledged her skills; he did it because _she was his last option_. Kagome smiled sadly. What was the big deal about it, after all? He was not the first or the only one to underestimate her and probably wouldn't be the last.

Kagome gently stroked the girl's hair and whispered "Rin? Rin, wake up, sweetie."

Rin groaned and stirred. "… Okaa-san…?"

She smiled. "Close. – Come on, we need to get this fever to subside."

The child rubbed the sleepiness away from her eyes to see well. "Kagome-sama? What are you doing here?", she asked.

"Taking care of you. – Sesshoumaru called me to help you with your illness." She smiled. "Now come, you have to take a bath."

Rin grimaced. "But! It's so cold, Kagome-sama!", she cried, shrinking further in her lord's pelt.

"Exactly. It's because of just that you got to take a bath so the cold will pass. I promise to get in the spring with you, okay?" Kagome stood and stretched her hand to the younger. Rin took Kagome's hand with hers that was free from whatever was that thing in her arm and slowly stood. "I just want to apologize for one thing: I should put you in saline_after_the bath but I forgot. So, in aid of keeping our heads where they are and don't get killed, I'll ask you to carry this, uh… staff? So I can be armed if anything happen – Is this okay with you?"

"Yes!", Rin smiled.

Kagome went all gooey. The girl was_so_sweet! "Then, let's go."

She grabbed her bow and her quiver and just to be safe, she put a barrier around them both. Kagome knew Edo; she knew where to find a hot spring if she needed one.

Kagome helped Rin to undress and placed the tripod firmly on the bank of the spring. She tried to bath Rin the best she could without getting the caterer and the sticking plaster wet, but it was very hard being out of the water. Giving a pained sigh and entered in the water, clothed and all, and smiled when Rin apologized.

"What for? It was my fault for forgetting to bathe you before the saline." Kagome said while cupping her hands full of water and washing the girl's face. "Besides, I promised I'd get in with you, didn't I? And I'm happy to help, really – It keeps me busy."

Busy enough to not think…

"But–" Rin yawned. "If I didn't persuade Sesshoumaru-sama to let me jump in puddles, I wouldn't be sick now and Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't need to travel all the way from West to come here to find you, Kagome-sama." Rin sniffed.

Kagome bit her bottom lip. Indeed, it must be utterly bothersome to have to travel all this distance after wasting time and money with useless doctors.

"Now Sesshoumaru-sama hates me!" The girl sobbed.

"Hey, Rin, don't you dare say such things, dear!" Kagome cupped her rosy cheeks and looked sweetly determined at the Taiyoukai's ward. "Don't you remember that time when Naraku kidnapped you and said Sesshoumaru wouldn't come to save you and said that he didn't really care about you 'cause he was a cold-hearted Taiyoukai?" Rin nodded, her eyes still watering. "Very well, then look at my fists." Kagome raised both her fists in front of her face and said "Let's say my right fist is made of ice and my left one is made of fire. – They're different, right?"

Rin sniffed. "Yes…"

Kagome smiled brightly. "But aren't they still fists all the same?", she asked, loving the way Rin's eyes shone and ran her fingers through the girl's raven locks. "Sesshoumaru's heart might be cold, Rin, but it is still a heart. He still_has_a heart."

Rin wiped the last tears from her eyes and smiled toothily to her doctor._'It seems that she knows how to cure souls too! Kagome-sama is great!'_

x-•°•°•-x

"Sleep."

"But I don't want to! I want to play!"

"You can't, you need to rest."

"But I feel_fine_now!"

"Rin, you can't waste so much energy for a while, okay? Please? – You're not recovered yet." Kagome said while setting up a bed for Rin with her sleeping bag and blankets and Sesshoumaru's pelt as a pillow. A very deliciously soft pillow. Kagome found it hard to let go of it. "You're far from being fine, actually. You're just feeling better than before." She said as she stood and turned to look at Rin.

Rin stopped her attempting of escaping to play and pouted. She thought that when that 'saline thing' was over she would be fine again. She really felt great; more medicines for her would be a waste! Rin sighed. But Kagome was the doctor here and knew better than she ever would, then she would be good. "Then, Kagome-sama, could you please tell me a story or sing a song to help me sleep?"

"Of course!" Anything to make the girl sleep. "What kind of story do you want to hear? I have plenty!" Because she was NOT singing!

Rin thought for a moment and beamed. "Adventure! With lots and lots of romance!", she squealed.

'_I don't know why I even asked.'_Kagome thought and giggled. "Well, let me think…"

The Rapunzel was nice, but had no adventure; Little Red would be too traumatic to the girl; The Sleeping Beauty…? Hmm, no – Rin'd be afraid of the freaking Maleficent and wouldn't sleep; Snow white? Yeah, that – Oh, no, Rin would never trust old women anymore.

"Oh, I got it!" Kagome clapped excited. "Aladdin!"

"Who is Aladdin?" Rin asked.

Kagome smiled. "You'll see soon enough."

She started with a cliché_Once Upon A Time…_and ended with the_Happily Ever After_and, by the time the story was finished, Rin was snoring softly on her 'bed'. In fact, the child was already sleeping when Kagome was in the part that Jasmine and Aladdin were flying around the world one the magic carpet, but Kagome didn't want to stop and be alone with her thoughts… so she kept telling the fairy tale to the stars…

And to the demon lord who was hiding behind a large tree.

"I think you underestimate me too much.", she said out loud. "You're youki is too big even for you to hide completely."

Silence ruled the clearing for a moment and then Sesshoumaru came in her view and she smiled. "Enjoyed the tale?" she asked while he sat in the base of a tree across from her.

Kagome got nothing but silence… and it was then she decided she couldn't take it anymore…

She lowered her head 'til her bangs were covering her eyes and smiled sadly. "You know… sometimes I wish I was a prejudiced person… Cold, rude… Sometimes I wish I was dead." Her voice trembled. "But living, anyway." She whispered the last words, clenching her fists into tight balls, fighting with her tears, even knowing it was a lost battle. Some tears forced way through her lids and rolled down her face.

Sesshoumaru did not know nor did he care for what happened to the miko, but he would be lying if he said he was not curious by why such frightful words. So, he lifted a brow and voiced his question. "Why?"

He saw her shrugging and taking a deep breath before answering "Maybe he'd love me if I was…"

Ah… so it was his half-brother, he concluded. Sesshoumaru was caught off guard when the woman suddenly raised her head, looked at him still crying and smiling softly and asked for the very last thing that could cross his mind. "Can I hug you?"

He narrowed his eyes.

"Thought so.", she giggled without any humor and stood from her seat. She packed up her things and threw a blister pack to him. "It's for Rin. – Make her take it twice a day: one after breakfast and one before bed. Make sure she eats and drinks a lot and gets lots of rest, and then she should be fine." Kagome grabbed her bow and quiver from the ground and looked at him. "Thank you for listening."

With that, she was gone.

**End Note:**I won't say: "Review or I stop writing", but reviews is reeeeally helpful with my confidence.***-***I know that every writer out there as crazy as me always go jumping around the house when we got a review**xD**So please, tell me what do you think.

All the best,

_**Inu**_.


	2. He Did Not Care

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

**(Garota Inu)**

**2. He. Did. Not. Care.**

The sun shone through the few clouds in the sky; the wind was calm and fresh like the waves of the sea. Kagome inhaled deeply the fresh air, seeking some peace. No, she was a lot better than that fatidic night, five weeks ago, but her fight with Miroku just brought everything up again and now she'd be angry for the rest of the day, that's for sure.

"_You won't do this, I won't let you. – What has got into you, anyway? You helping Kikyou? I know you don't hate her, but still…–"_

"_I'm not helping her, I'm just protecting Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled._

"_Kagome, Inuyasha doe not need protection! I don't like it either, but he chose his destiny!"_

"_Well, it wasn't the right choice!"_

"_Is that so? Who are you to decide this, Kagome?" _

_"Someone who loves him!" Kagome shouted._

_And Miroku shouted back. "__Well, I'm sorry, but it'd just be okay if he loved you back!"_

_Kagome gasped, listening to the words in her mind echoing painfully while it perforated her soul. And Miroku tried to apologize, but her face went blank as she said "Miroku, why don't you go to hell just like Inuyasha will too?"_

Kagome sighed. She knew she was wrong in telling Miroku to go to hell, after all, he was just saying the truth. "Well… in the end we're all going to hell, I think."

"I can help you with that."

Gasping, Kagome turned around to see a huge crab youkai with huge pincers instead of arms, crawling out of a huge hole in the sand. And she doubted he was there to invite her for a little swimming. Looking around for something to protect herself with, Kagome found a crook – like a broom's handle – and quickly grabbed it. She tried to do the same she did with her arrows and pass her energy to her new weapon, but it reached just the tip.

"If you come any closer I'll fry your red ass to hell.", she hissed, trying to hide her fear.

The crab laughed hard and loud and looked at her from head to toe as if he was challenging her. "Hah – I'd like to see you try, priestess."

Kagome grinned. "You asked for it."

x-•°•°•-x

Sesshoumaru was brought to the world of the living by the worst way possible: torture.

Don't get him wrong, he _liked_ to torture and he could even say that _his_ ways of torture were far more merciful in comparison to this_insanity_.

Actually, it was in times like this that he questioned himself with most frequency. For practically his whole life he has been known as the ruthless, coldest and heartless Lord of the West, Sesshoumaru. No one in their right mind dared to disobey him or even disagree with him. And all this fear was not based on nothing, no. He worked hard for this kind of respect.

No, it is a lie. He just had to be himself.

Once, he was in his study attending to some paperwork when one of his council knocked and walked in. Sesshoumaru didn't remember whether he was a new employee or not, but seconds after the door closed again it didn't matter anymore. The demon was dead anyway. And nothing that his father said that night changed a thing, for Sesshoumaru was in all his right to kill the nuisance. He _did_ give orders to not disturb, after all. And after some years of imposing the same punishment when disobeyed, he gained that such incredible respect he had so far.

Now, Sesshoumaru was being disrespected and bothered, but it was not the worst about it. The worst was that he was doing _nothing_ about it and _wasn't going to_.

'_Perhaps, if I remain unmoving, she will cease this.'_, he thought, burying his face further into his pillow.

Rin giggled even more when her lord sighed unconsciously and brushed the feather in his ear.

Sesshoumaru nipped slightly his pillow. He just wanted to _sleep_.

Lifting his head to look at his insufferable ward, he put his best predatory and dangerous face and glared at her. But she knew better. Living three years in his presence, Rin knew he was not able to stay angry at her for more than ten seconds.

So, she laughed. Hard.

Damn.

Yawning in a very canine style and giving up already, he sat on his bed while Rin went to open his curtains. He hated that part. Light. Narrowing his eyes to block the outside light, Sesshoumaru did not expect Rin to yell so loud that time in the morning.

His head _would_ hurt later.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! There! In the beach, look!", she cried out.

He walked to the window and didn't need to seek for more than one second to find what Rin was speaking of. There, near to where the waves crashed but still far enough to be dangerous for humans, was floating a bleeding corpse being surrounded by four or five sharks, he did not know and it was too far to be certain – Lie. He just was too sleepy yet – and he did not care. He yawned again. It was nothing surprising, corpses floating in the sea in this time of wars were normal.

Sesshoumaru was already rehearsing his speech about Food Chain when his eyes captured something he would never expect: two of those five sharks – or four – tempted to attack whoever was there but were repelled by a pinkish-transparent globe of energy that was around the corpse.

So, it was – _was_ – a priestess…

Suddenly, the crying-smiling face of that miko who traveled with his brother came to his mind. – How long since that night? A month, two months perhaps? He did not know… In fact, Sesshoumaru did not know a thing that time in the morning; he was still half-asleep. However, what he saw next woke him completely. What in seven hells was Rin doing down there?

"Go away!" Rin yelled in the distance, pulling the rubber string of her slingshot backwards and firing a stone at the sharks.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself a rolling of his eyes. A stone would not kill or make a shark back off, let alone shark _youkais_. Invoking his cloud of youki, Sesshoumaru flied towards the sharks – there were six – and grabbed the corpse – that he came to find was _not_ a corpse – by the haori and took it to the shore. Letting the body fall from his only hand to the sand, he saw it was indeed the miko who saved Rin.

Rin gasped in horror. "Sesshoumaru-sama, save her! Please!"

He mentally sighed.

It was way too early in the morning for this.

x-•°•°•-x

Kagome woke up to the feeling of her little breakfast coming all the way back up to say hello to her, but all that came from within her was water; clawing and scraping the inside of her throat painfully. She almost wished she could black out again, almost. But no, she needed to know where she was, who helped her… Trying to stop coughing, Kagome checked her surroundings, noticing she was in the end of a forest and in a beginning of a beach and nearly fainted when she saw Sesshoumaru sitting right next to her leaning in a tree, staring at the distance.

"Jesus Christ!" She crawled a few centimeters away from him, startled to see him so close. She breathed. "God…"

Kagome knew by now he wouldn't kill her without a good reason, but even so, it was hard to be in his presence totally relaxed. He tried to kill her twice, after all. One almost succeeding.

He lazily turned his head to look at her and blinked slowly. "No. I am Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Wes––"

"– Western Lands, Lord Inu Taishou and Lady Karina's son, born on 17th, October in the year of 773 and bla bla bla." She was not in the mood for this, but preventing the outburst she was sure was to come, she grumbled "You know, not all the fairy tales in my time are just tales." All the salty sensation was making her sleepy, but she wouldn't. She wasn't that tired, anyway.

Kagome felt smooth, satin-like fingers wrap around her neck and pointed claws nipping her nape. He wasn't strangling her or depriving her of breathing; he wasn't doing anything, not even tightening his grip.

But the threat was still there.

"Speak." Sesshoumaru demanded calmly, but firmly.

Kagome sulked. "I already told you! There's a fairy tale about you in my time." What was with this man, anyway?

He quirked a brow. "Time?"

Oh, right, he didn't know. "I'm not from this era; I'm from five hundred yeas in the future. And there's a tale about the west and its King." She smiled a little. "It's about you."

There were a couple seconds of silence and then, one by one, the fingers in her neck released her throat and Kagome sighed in relief. That was _close_. Scrubbing her sore eyes, she heard a giggle; a very girlish giggle in a short distance. She saw Rin playing in the secure part of the water where the waves crashed and smiled, glad she was okay now. When she was nearly to ask about the girl's health, she was interrupted by the Inu.

"Tell me what you know."

Sesshoumaru watched the miko – he did not recall her name nor he did care – start to play with the sand and waited. "I don't think it's a good idea. It could affect the future somehow." She was suddenly nervous, he realized. Hmm.

"I insist."

Kagome looked at him for a second and then fixed her attention in her cake of sand again. He narrowed his eyes. _'If she not talk, I will destroy it.'_. But unfortunately, he did not have the pleasure. "Are you sure? It's a romance.", she warned.

Assuming this romance could only be about patriotism, he nodded. "Tell me."

Kagome grinned. "Okay… But remember you asked for it. – Well…", she started, still building things with wet sand. "You marry Rin." She saw Sesshoumaru clench his fists into tight, _tight_ balls and she couldn't take it. She _laughed_. "It didn't give her name, tough. But it's too obvious. It says she looked like a goddess; she has jet black hair; her face is flawless and almost as pale as the moon; she dresses like a queen wearing a wed garb of the finest silk in the West Kingdom. And–"

"It is impossible." He said simply.

"Why?"

"I do not have to explain myself."

"Oh, so it _isn't_ impossible."

"It is."

"Ok, but why? She's cute and she'll grow up." Kagome smiled. "Oh, and she looks just like me when I was a kid."

Sesshoumaru shrugged one shoulder. "Then, she will not be much attractive."

Kagome frowned. "So you don't think Rin's pretty? That's sad. – I'm sure she thinks you're handso–"

"Enough of this no sense." He ordered, but calmly.

Kagome looked at Rin who was running towards them with both hands full of sea shells. "Look, Kagome-sama! Aren't they pretty?"

Something inside Kagome's head clicked and she grinned broadly. "Yes, Rin! They're pretty just like Sesshoumaru-sama, don't you think?" She was hearing a snarl…?

But Rin didn't answer like Kagome expected her to.

Rin's head snapped in her direction, her eyes the size of sauces. "Do you think Sesshoumaru-sama is pretty?", she asked.

…

Oh, _crap_.

Kagome risked glancing at him, but he seemed to be asleep. She was sure he wasn't, though. Kagome sighed. "You know, when I first saw Inuyasha, he was sleeping and I thought he was the most beautiful guy I've ever seen, but when I met your Lord, especially when he came suddenly to stand right in front of me demanding things, even in that moment I thought of him as the epitome of beauty. I don't think I'll ever see a man as handsome as your Lord here, Rin." She answered, forgetting in mid-sentence the main character of her speech was awake.

Rin kept staring at Kagome in wonder. Smiling, Kagome asked. "Why so surprised?"

Rin bit her bottom lip, swallowing her joy and smiling to Kagome brightly. "That's just… Kagome-sama, I think youkais here in the castle are broken, they don't work well. – Once, I was playing in the garden and then I heard those women saying Sesshoumaru-sama was strange and ugly and feminine. Why, Kagome-sama? I really can't see Sesshoumaru-sama as an ugly man even if I tried. And even if he doesn't show it, I know it upsets Sesshoumaru-sama." She whispered sadly.

Kagome smiled warmly to Rin and put her hand on her shoulder. "I didn't know he was taken as 'inadequate', but I'm not so surprised either.", she said. "I think he dresses quite well for a loyal person, but… that pelt… I think he should use it just in especial occasions. Anyway, if he'd just let me choose his outfit once, I'm sure he would find a new mother to you in no time!" Kagome cheered.

Rin beamed, her heart clenching with the overwhelming excitement. "Oh, Kagome-sama, please! Would you dress Sesshoumaru-sama tonight?"

'_Tonight? Why tonight?'_, Kagome wondered. Maybe Sesshoumaru was running an event later? "He'd never let me and you know it. Besides, I know nothing about females youkais taste, I could only make this worse – But don't be sad!" She hurried to say when the girl's face fell greatly. "When one is meant to love someone, even if one of them is ugly, they'll love each other anyway, because the outside will not matter. – Besides, you, Sango and I think Sesshoumaru is very beautiful and that's it! You should not care for what others think or do – If they want to think or do something you disagree, let them. The choice is theirs to make, Rin."

As soon as her words left her mouth, Kagome felt the hypocrisy of her words with the force of a piano. If Inuyasha want to go to hell with Kikyou, then who was she to say anything against it…? Miroku was right; it was Inuyasha's choice to make.

Not hers…

Her eyes stung and misted.

"Rin." Sesshoumaru called without moving anything but his mouth. "Have Jaken to prepare a bath to you. I'll be joining you for the meal shortly."

Rin nodded and walked away. "Please, don't take too long, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He looked at the miko, who was staring the horizon without really seeing it. Sesshoumaru had sensed her distress and then smelled her salty tears and since he did not want Rin to take example and get depressed as well, he sent her away.

It seemed like months since that night when the miko assisted Rin but even now she was still as pathetically sad as back then. He wondered if it was his moronic brother again.

"Miko, what_ever_ bothers you?" He finally asked.

"You're not the one who's going to kill Inuyasha." She answered so fast she even couldn't hear the 'you' in the end of his question above her own voice. "Did you know that?"

Sesshoumaru raised a brow. "It will be me.", he said.

She shook her head. "No. It will be Kikyou." Kagome cursed under her breath when the name caused a tear to fall. "She'll drag him to hell if you don't hurry."

Now, that was surprising. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes, wondering if she was indeed the miko girl who could travel through time. Allowing himself the barest of smirks – since she was not looking at him – he asked. "Did you finally realize he is unworthy?"

She shrugged. "He's unworthy of many things, but not the way you think. He's unworthy just like you."

His smirk vanished.

"Don't get me wrong." She said. "I mean, you're worthy of ruling these lands. You're intelligent, very strong and honorable. But Inuyasha is too; he just needs more knowledge and experience."

"And brain."

Kagome laughed a little. "But you" She looked at him; traces of her laughing still in her face. "You're unworthy of Rin, because you disrespect her kind. You treat humans as though they were something disposable, as though it wouldn't change in nothing if they were dead."

Sesshoumaru blinked slowly. "You talk as if you were not one of them."

"Because I'm not." When he quirked a brow, she answered "Can a human fry a crab youkai with a broom's handle and survive hours in the water with sharks _youkais_?" He didn't answer. "That's right… I stopped to call me human when I started doing inhuman things."

"Hn."

Silence fell around them for almost one minute and a half until Kagome felt the need to end her previous speech. "But you're worthy of her at the same time." She smiled. "Because you took exception to her. You treat her _well_ and she's _happy_ around you." Her heart warmed when the image of a smiling Rin came to her mind. But then, a frowning Inuyasha ruined it and her heart went cold. "– And Inuyasha… he's unworthy of friends, but just because he's going to leave us to follow someone to hell unfairly." She said through her clenched teeth; her sadness and rage coming back with full force. "And what kills me is that he _knows_ the fault is not his to pay for!"

Sesshoumaru fought the urge to roll his eyes. Did it look like he cared? He did _not_. He was not one of her friends to have to listen to her incessant whining. Maybe she thinks just because he listened the last time he would do it again? Well, he would _not_.

"Sesshoumaru…?" He looked at her and nearly jumped when he saw her kneeling beside him, her face too close to his taste. He blinked, watching her swallowing hard with her trembling lips. "Please, can I hug you?", she asked. If just he knew how a hug could heal her heart, he'd do it. Well… at least she liked to _think_ he would.

Sighing inaudibly to her ears, Sesshoumaru got up and walked away from her, missing the sound of her heart breaking. Kagome lowered her arms and gulped a cry so big; bigger than the last. "Thanks for listening, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru felt his feet stopping and looked at her over his shoulder; a strange feeling in his stomach. – Maybe he ate something rotten? No… He was feeling bad for her. No… He was pitting her.

Yes. This was better. He was _pitting_ her.

"Come." He said as he resumed his walk.

…

Kagome gaped and stared at his back as he walked. Sesshoumaru was inviting her to his palace? Hah… now she just knew she was still dreaming while floating in the water. Wiping her eyes dry and smiling, Kagome stood and followed him before he could change his mind. She knew he wasn't one for going back in his words, but…

Just in case.

x-•°•°•-x

"… the fire consumed his entire barn and his wife is pregnant with twins. Now he does not have food to feed his family." An adviser of his council explained, obviously trying not to stutter.

His Lord was the best Lord that ever came to rule the Western Lands – only losing to his father, who at least had sense of humor – and he glanced up at him, trying to discover what he was thinking, but surely it was some wonderful solution to this citizen's problem.

'… _but Rin says everyone was wearing yellow lately.'_ So what color he was going to wear in the dinner tonight? He wore his best attire last year already, so he could not wear it again so soon. Hm, what to do?

"Uh, milord?" The man stuttered. "What do we do?"

Closing his eyes in exasperation, Sesshoumaru breathed. It was not obvious enough? "If this citizen had a barn, obviously he has a plantation. – Ask him when will be his harvest season and give him enough food to survive until there."

The adviser waited. Sure his Lord wouldn't do this for charity. And if he would, then it was his work to advise him to don't.

"And half of his next harvest shall be mine." He ended.

The servant smiled and bowed. "Great decision, milord."

Sesshoumaru mentally grimaced. Half because he hated abbreviations and half because it seemed his council was not finished yet. One of the men got up from his chair suddenly, a drop of sweat running down his face. "Milord," There was the abbreviation again. "About your image… uh, we really think your Highness should take a mate – It is no good to your image, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Indeed, it was not good at all. But… He. Did. Not. Care!

"Leave."

"But, milord needs an heir–"

He growled. "Now."

The men stiffened and ran for their lives. After all, they knew what happens when Sesshoumaru was disobeyed; they had plenty of examples in the past.

Sesshoumaru discretely sighed. Peace, at last.

'_In fact, no. Not yet.'_, he thought while standing and routing for his room. He would not have peace until this annual social dinner was over and the miko gone. Fortunately, it will be as soon as the end of the event. But he would worry about it later, now he had to get dressed.

He walked all the way to his room and entered, enjoying the soft breeze coming from his open window and drowning in its peacefulness. But when his eyes fell upon his bed, his illusion of peace was crashed mercilessly. He glided to the end of his bed and gave a better look at the outfit lying in his bed. He noticed a note on it and took the paper in his hand.

'_Wear__it, it suits you. And you could braid your hair too._

_At least give it a try,__then__you can kill me.'_

Yes. He could not wait to do just that.

x-•°•°•-x

Kagome never really had a problem with being the object of everyone's attention. She even had already done many presentations in public such as plays and seminaries and never, _ever_had a problem with that. But now…

Kagome just found out she had a BIG problem with being the object of everyone's attention when everyone are youkais. Worst experience ever!

'_Now I know how a worm feels! It's just insane!'_, she mentally squeaked. But then again, it wasn't just disdaining looks she was getting. _'Now I know how a worm AND a whore feel…'_ Those men sizing her up, checking her out to verify if she was worth a fuck… and apparently she wasn't, because none of them stopped to say something. _'Not that I want them to.'_

She looked down the floor and fixed her eyes there, not wanting to see those looks that give her the chills. – She wished Rin'd be there with her, or Sesshoumaru… even Jaken would do! She just couldn't take it alone anymore! The need of some distraction to her mind was so overwhelming Kagome started to worry her golden obi, and it made her smile suddenly.

When she knew Sesshoumaru'd be running a party, she panicked. She couldn't go in her miko garbs – she would not go in her miko garbs at all.

**Reason nº 1:** Kagome would turn into a bloody, gory mess in the wooden floor the instant she walked in – she was talking about a hall overflowing with youkais, after all;

**Reason nº 2:** Kagome have never felt comfortable in those clothes. Of course, the clothes _were_ comfortable, but she just wore it when her uniforms needed an extended vacation in laundry, because she didn't want to have Inuyasha looking at her and seeing Kikyou instead, or have him looking at everywhere but her;

**Reason nº3:** Kagome really, _really_ didn't want to bring shame on Sesshoumaru by dressing poorly.

And it was because of these three reasons she had to dress properly. Now, the only reason she chose that kimono, that obi and that make-up was simply because she wanted to _apologize_.

Apologize for crying if front of him; apologize for putting him in an awkward situation by asking him to hug her; apologize for disturbing him… to apologize for everything she knew upset him. Oh, and one more reason… she wanted to impress him. Show him she WAS attractive!

And because she wanted to apologize to him, to impress him and because she didn't want him to be ashamed of her, she made herself _beautiful_.

Even if she didn't think so.

Her kimono was silver; her obi was golden; her hair was pulled aside in a low ponytail and intertwined with a purple ribbon. And as make-up, she put red eyeshades.

"Kagome-sama!" She heard Rin calling. "Kagome-sama! You are so pretty! I can't wait to see Sesshoumaru-sama's face when he sees you! The prettiest lady of this party!" Rin squealed happily.

"Now, don't exaggerate, okay? You sure are the cutest thing here, Rin. – This pink kimono is fantastic on you!"

Rin nodded. "Uhum! This is my favorite! – Come on, Kagome-sama, let's sit before Sesshoumaru-sama comes!" She took the miko's hand and pulled her to a few reserved seats that were on the right side of a huge, gorgeous wooden throne.

Kagome groaned. She needn't be a genius to know it was Sesshoumaru's and with the Inu Lord sitting so close to her would attract even more attention to her, surely.

'_How nice.'_, she thought while sitting next to Rin and Jaken sitting next to her. _'Oh, and I even got to sit in the middle! Now I just know someone up there loves me.'_

"Now what?" Kagome whispered to Rin.

"Now we wait!", the girl answered smiling anxiously.

But, Kagome did not smile in return.

_After crying her eyes out when she got out of the camp to be alone because of her fight with Miroku, Kagome got back to camp in time to see – and better yet, hear – a conversation between Miroku and Sango._

"_You talked to him?", the monk asked._

"_Yes." Sango nodded sadly. "And I am afraid, Miroku… He already knows everything I tried to tell him and he agrees – He doesn't think it's fair to him to go to hell with Kikyou, but…", she sighed. "He__wants__to."_

_Kagome choked. If Inuyasha wanted to go… then there was nothing she could do to stop him…! She practically shoved her fist into her mouth. She'd scream._

"_He does?", Miroku asked._

"_Not that he wants to go to hell – he doesn't – he just wants to keep his word…" Her eyes watered and looked away. "But he said he'll miss us…"_

_A silence of grief surrounded them until Sango broke it again. "What do we do now, Miroku?", she whispered as she buried her face in his chest._

_Miroku wrapped his arms around his girl and looked at the sky sadly. "Now we wait."_

_Kagome ran to the beach and, as she promised, she screamed._

Kagome shook her head and swallowed hard, determined to forget everything tonight and enjoy her time with Rin. She knew it wasn't something she had the luxury to forget about, but… if she didn't, at least for one night, she would fall apart. And she had no one who would be able to help her to pull herself together again.

Suddenly, all the bee-noise of talking stopped and gasps of wonder were heard. Kagome, while looking for what achieved that miracle, gasped and felt her heart skip two beats when she found it.

He was wearing a dark blue kimono that was decorated with light blue petals on each hem of the robe, and a white and purple sash hugging beautifully his hips with a lace in the front. Every piece of the outfit she created for him and put on his bed was now making him ethereal and breathtaking.

But it wasn't what made Kagome have her heart warmed. She knew that deep, _deep_down he was able to accept a fashion advice, but an advice about his sacred hair…? _'He braided it…!'_ She never expected him to… _'Like I suggested…!'_

"Kagome-sama…" Rin mumbled next to her, unable to take her eyes off her Lord. "He is…", she didn't have the words.

Kagome nodded idiotically. "He's beautiful… Rin."

A smile forced its way to her lips and it growed and touched her eyes when Sesshoumaru looked at her and nodded in her direction. Happier than she ever thought possible in her situation, Kagome nodded back.

'_You are welcome.'_

x-•°•°•-x

"Kagome-sama…" Rin tugged her silver sleeve. "I wished I could, but –", she yawned. "I'm too sleepy."

Kagome smiled. "Of course! – Show me the way and I'll tuck you in."

The girl took her hand and leaded the way to her room. It wasn't until Kagome found herself in the bedrooms' hall that something clicked in her head. Something of extreme vitality. "Rin… If it's possible, may I sleep with you?", she asked shyly. She didn't have to explain her reasons, did she?

"Of course, Kagome-sama!" Rin opened her bedroom's door and walked in. "I'd love to have you here with me, thank you!"

Seriously, If Sesshoumaru doesn't be careful, she'd take Rin for herself!

"No, thank _you_, Rin!" Kagome knelt down and hugged the girl. "You're just so cute!"

Kagome helped Rin change into her sleeping yukata and tucked her in comfortably. "Kagome-sama, could you please tell me a story or sing to me?" Rin asked.

"What about 'Princess in Disguise'?" She was NOT singing!

Rin shook her head. "No, please, tell me about how Kagome-sama and Sesshoumaru-sama met!", she clasped her hands enthusiastically.

Immediately, the alarm went on in her head: Censured! Censured!

Kagome gulped. "Are you sure? It's not a beautiful and happy story." She grimaced, not wanting to ruin the beautiful way Rin saw Sesshoumaru, like a hero Lord. Her Sesshoumaru was the villain in her story.

Rin looked at her blanket, smiling a little smile. "I know Sesshoumaru-sama wasn't always good, I know. – But there's no problem, he's good now!" She smiled brightly to Kagome. "Please, tell me ."

Kagome nodded, but still hesitantly. "Okay…"

"Sesshoumaru was looking for Tessaiga – his father's fang – and found it in his tomb. He was huge and the sword lay inside of his stomach. Of course, Inuyasha wouldn't give it to him easily, so they fought but the sword was pinned in an altar and Sesshoumaru was repelled by a barrier when he tried to take it. When Inuyasha tried too, he wasn't repelled but Tessaiga wouldn't come out. It was simply impossible."

"Then… how come Inuyasha-sama has it now?" Rin asked.

Kagome smirked. "It was then that I really met your father." Rin squealed. "I was the one who pulled Tessaiga off its altar. Sesshoumaru was livid and shocked. 'What are you? How could you pull out this Tessaiga?', he demanded. But I didn't know either. So, he tried to kill me with his poison, but the sword protected me. And that made him lose his patience. He transformed and a huge, huge, _huge_ Kuvasz took his human form's place."

"Oh!" Rin gasped. "I never got to see Sesshoumaru-sama in his puppy form!"

Kagome face palmed mentally. _'Puppy? Oh Lord, may Sesshoumaru never hear it._' "But, Kagome-sama, what is a 'Kuvasz'?"

"Oh, well... it's a dog breed. There's this kind of dog there where I am from and I think Sesshoumaru looks just like it."

Rin nodded. "I see… But, please, tell me more!"

And Kagome did.

But now, sitting at the huge, huge dinner table, Kagome wished she hadn't, because… now, she just couldn't take her eyes off his left sleeve… his _empty_ left sleeve… where his left arm should be. Her eyes followed the movements of his right hand as he ate and wondered _'What if he's a left-handed? And now he has to manage with his right hand?'_

Her guilt was about to swallow her whole.

"Stop this."

His deep, silk voice startled her out of her thoughts. Kagome looked away, ashamed. "I'm so ––"

"Don't."

Kagome clenched her fists and teeth; his words just making her feel worse. It was the same as 'You did this, why regret this now?' or 'I don't need your pity – especially yours since it's gone because of you.' Kagome inhaled deeply. "Are you a right-handed or a left-handed?", she whispered quietly.

Sesshoumaru stopped his chopsticks midway to his mouth and put them down again to give her a side glance. "Think this way: If I needed it, I would have replaced it with another one. Now, do not bother yourself or myself with this foolishness. It makes you most annoying.", he said and resumed his dinner.

Now, it was really unnecessary. "Forgive me for being invited.", she replied sarcastically.

"I did invite you to my home, however, I did not invite you to this event – In fact, you should not be here. It is a business dinner."

Kagome looked at the people who surrounded the table and suppressed a smile. "Well, It sure looks like you won't be talking about business this year."

Sesshoumaru looked at his gossiping guests while sipping his tea. "Indeed."

Like every year…

Kagome giggled and resumed her eating. Well… would have resumed her eating if she hadn't look one last time to his right hand and saw what made her miserable.

His hand was slightly, _very_ slightly trembling…

And he couldn't hold the chopsticks right.

x-•°•°•-x

Surprised did not even start to describe how he felt when he saw her sitting in the chair that always stayed empty since his father's death; since he assumed the throne. The miko could just sit there if she was his mother or his betrothed – and really, Sesshoumaru could not see her as his mother. But he could see her as his betrothed…

If she was beautiful, if she was powerful, if she was elegant, if she was educated, if she was submissive, and if she was loyal. Therefore, he saw her neither as his mother nor as a prospective mate. However, the second he entered the dinner room and looked at her, Sesshoumaru noticed she had already one of his six requirements.

Sesshoumaru ran his hand through his hair while staring at the ceiling from his place, lying in his bed. The miko was beautiful. Her bright, _bright_ blue eyes should be forbidden and they looked even brighter with her midnight hair pulled back in a low-side ponytail by purple ribbons. And it was then it hit him. Something utterly unexpected; it was what surprised him the most.

Silver kimono, golden obi and purple ribbons.

Silver hair, golden eyes and purple stripes.

It made him curious… scratch that, he was dying to know – _why?_ If it was not for the purple ribbons for his purple stripes, he would have been sure this gesture was for his brother. But, _no_. It was clearly for him and because it was for _him_, he started to relive all the moments of his life which she was in, searching for some hint that could explain her reasons for doing such a thing.

Sesshoumaru turned on his stomach, feeling his head sinking in his big pillow and adjusting himself more comfortable. It would take a while, after all.

First, he saw her standing by his brother while sitting on that giant ogre's shoulder; nothing abnormal there, save her state of dress. When he first saw her, he thought immediately she was the hanyou's yet-to-be-touched concubine, but a little later that night, he decided against it. She was too naïve, too fiery to be one. A concubine would know her place and it was clear the miko did not; he had a valid proof of that when she pointed Tessaiga _at_ h_i_m _an_d yel_led_ _at_ hi_m_ _no_ sens_es_ _ab_ou_t_ _how_ _Inu_yasha wa_s_ _goin_g t_o_ _show him._

"_You'll pay – Prepare yourself!", she yelled swinging the fang as if it was a witch's stick._

_The miko ran to him with a war scream and she probably would look serious about hurting him if her aura was not playful, or if she did not have that sweet smile in her lips and if she hadn't tripped over one of those million skulls._

_Sesshoumaru could just watch the pathetic attempt against his person. How many times she would have to see Inuyasha's failings to even touch him to finally understand that she – an obviously weaker being than his younger brother – would NEVER be able to harm him?_

_Sobs._

_He slowly blinked, confused. Surely the woman would not cry because of a little fall._

…

_Would she?_

_Sesshoumaru found himself walking over to the girl and looking down at her crying face. "Sesshoumaru, why can't you just hug me?", she sobbed. "You can take life from anyone in the world; you can take even death from whoever you find dignified…" Finally she looked up at him and he was taken aback by the intensity of that pain in her blue eyes. "So please…", she begged, stretching her arms out to him. "Take away my sorrow…"_

_Now, he knew she was a mad woman, because suddenly she smiled that sweet smile of hers and said "Do you know why am I wearing these clothes? The true reason above all excuses?" Then, her concubine blue outfit disappeared and the silver kimono along with the golden obi and purple ribbons were now her set of clothes._

_He quirked a brow, the only sign he was listening._

_She smiled even wider and sweeter. "Do you?"_

"_No."_

_Then, she winked. "Neither do I."_

**End Note:**Please review! This chapter was a little hard to write, so I desperately want to know what you guys think of it, please?


	3. Late night conversations

**Author's note:**

I know, I know! And I am DEEPLY sorry! Ç_Ç  
I swear it was not my intention taking so long to update, but, you see… College is driving me insane – I'm working at the mall in a bookstore – My boyfriend broke up with me – My laptop was dead and only TODAY I could pick it up from the technical assistance, sooooo… *breath* I promise I'll try to neve do this again, okay? The 4th chapter's halfway to the end already, sou you guys won't have to wait too long =D

Thank you for the comprehension.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha. But I do own Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru in my dreams *-*

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

**(Garota Inu)**

3. Late night conversations.

"I returned to my Shiro because of last night's event and now I shall resume my hunt for Naraku. Therefore, I will escort you to my brother." Sesshoumaru explained.

"Oh." Kagome murmured while walking through the forest by his side. "And why didn't you bring Rin with you?", she asked. Without the girl, things were going to be _sooo_ awkward.

He wished she would just cease that useless talking. Sesshoumaru was too polite to say to her to be quiet. "We are very close of finding the damned. I will not risk her life."

"I _see_." Kagome's eyes shone teasingly. "You're protecting your soon-to-be wife, am I right?"

If he got irritated by her insistence in this subject, he didn't show it. "She will not be my wife, for such a thing will never happen and for I am not a human to have a _wife_." He said, pronouncing the last word as if it was a profanity.

Kagome blinked at that while avoiding hitting her head in a low branch as she walked. "If not a wife, what will you have, then?"

Sesshoumaru frowned a little. Half because he wanted her to be silent until the end of their journey and half because he would not have a mate instead of a wife… he just wouldn't have anyone. "The correct term is _mate_."

"Mate…" she tasted the word and decided she liked it. "Sounds more serious, deeper… powerful."

"Hnn." Sesshoumaru didn't quite know why, but suddenly he felt the urge to tell her a last little thing about that subject. "And it is. – Once mated none of the couple will have another and death is not an obstacle."

Kagome stared at the road blankly. She longed for a love like this; she wished she was able to have something like a mate. "Rin is lucky…" '_Kikyou as well…'_

"I do not see my ward in such a way. I will not repeat myself."

'_You don't NOW. But you will.'_, she wanted to say. But because she loved her head where it was, she didn't. But then it hit her. First, Miroku and Sango; then Eri got a new boyfriend; Souta found Hitomi; soon there'll be Inuyasha and Kikyou and now…

Even Sesshoumaru got a chance in love, already.

But not her. Never her.

Suddenly a slap echoed and Kagome jumped out of her thoughts. "What was it?", she asked. Usually, when a slap echoed through the area it was because of wandering hands…

Her answer came when Sesshoumaru brought his hand back from his nape under his hair and squashed something. "I told you already not to do that." Said the lord.

"I beg your forgiveness, Sesshoumaru-sama. But such a delicious and powerful blood as yours is extremely hard to ignore." A voice much less imposing than the previous one said.

Oh, so it was Myouga. She didn't know Myouga had guts to suck Sesshoumaru's blood; she was impressed. Kagome giggled.

"Uh?" Myouga looked over Sesshoumaru's shoulder at where he heard a laugh and gasped at what he saw – _who_ he saw. "Kagome-sama! My lady! What are you doing here? Is Inuyasha-sama here as well?" he asked, searching for the explosion of red that was his younger master's trademarks.

"No, he isn't." Kagome said as if it was normal for her to be with Sesshoumaru _without_ Inuyasha.

Myouga cleaned his throat. "Well, where is he now if not here?", he asked.

Kagome looked down. Why couldn't she just stay free of him even when he was not around? "I have no idea."

Sesshoumaru gave an experimental sniff and he smelled it. Lies.

She _knew_.

"But… how come you two are now apart? Why are you here and he is not?" Myouga jumped from his place on Sesshoumaru's left shoulder to Kagome's. "Would you mind to tell me?"

'_Yes.'_ "Not at all." Kagome sighed, thinking in a good way to start the story. "I was alone, moping at the beach after some bad news and this crab youkai showed up from under the sand and tried to kill me with his pincers but I got a broom handle and transferred my powers to it–" They needn't to know it was just the tip. "– and hit his arm. It fell off and he was furious; he launched at me and we fell on the water. The waves came and carried us far from the shore but he kept coming for me. I tried to hit him again, but he was so fast… he hit me in the head and I fell unconscious after that. I don't know why he didn't kill me; I just know that I woke up ashore, thanks to Rin."

Sesshoumaru frowned without looking back. "I was the one who saved you.", he said.

"Because Rin asked." Kagome replied. "Would you have saved me if she didn't?"

"No."

And because it was true, Kagome felt her heart loosing another piece. For the millionth time in those weeks.

"I did assume the body on the water was a corpse. And I did not know it was you."

Kagome stopped to a halt and gaped, shocked, at his back as he kept walking. If she reformulated his phrase to a clearer one, Sesshoumaru literally said 'I wouldn't have saved you because I thought you were dead. Besides, I didn't know it was you. Otherwise, I'd have saved you.'… Too shocked to notice…

Her heart healed a bit.

x-•°•°•-x

The night came fast upon them and soon they had to set camp and rest. Not that Sesshoumaru needed it, but humans – no, mikos, as she said herself – did. He expected to have a quiet trip to his brother's campsite, but the miko made sure to make it the other way around. Now, she had Myouga to assist her in her task.

"Myouga," Kagome called after finishing her speech about the future. "Do you think there's a spring nearby? I really could use a bath now." She didn't know if the flea could find one for her, but she rather ask him than ask Sesshoumaru.

"Down the hill." The deep voice echoed. "There is a lake down the hill." Sesshoumaru said as he sat; his face hidden by his silver curtain.

Kagome looked at him, confused by his dry tone. What did she do? "What happened?", she asked.

"Go and take your bath. We depart before sunrise."

She wanted to ask again, but because he was Sesshoumaru, she didn't. "O-ok…"

In normal situations, it is, when she was with Inuyasha, he always said _'Scream if you feel anything strange.'_ And he always stayed close, so she always felt safe. Then, when no one said nothing, she tensed. Of course, she wasn't as defenseless as she was on the beginning; she could kick some butts. But she wasn't that good either. And because of it, she found herself speaking without even notice. "If I feel anything strange… Can I scream?", she whispered. "Would you help me?"

'_One word. Just one word, please please!'_, she prayed.

There was a tense moment and Kagome was giving up already when he answered "Go."

Relief and gratefulness washed over her and Kagome walked closer and smiled to him. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru." And she ran, crazy for a bath.

When she disappeared beyond the hill, Myouga smiled to his lord. "Always wanting to bath.", he commented, expecting no answer.

But he got one, anyway. "The miko…" he closed his eyes and her image dressed in his colors illustrated the black behind his eyelids. "She was at the annual dinner."

Myouga blinked twice. "Oh…"

"And she was…" he continued and opened his eyes again when the light of a shooting star lighted his faced for a second. "… wearing colors."

The flea quirked a brow. "Well, that's… pretty… normal?"

Sesshoumaru looked down at his loyal assistant on the top of his bended knee. "Gold, silver and _purple_.", he emphasized the last word.

It took just a second and a half to Myouga explode. "Dear God, purple? Are you sure it wasn't red?", he asked.

"Hn."

Myouga fell on his butt, confused. "It's quite strange, my lord.", he said. "And very unexpected."

Indeed, Sesshoumaru agreed. But now, he was not so shocked because of it anymore – he was curious about something more intriguing… Why did she smell so sad when he said earlier he would not have saved her if Rin had not asked to? Why did she smell so happy when he explained? And why is she always asking him to embrace her?

So many questions…

"What the guests said about this?"

Sesshoumaru cared little about what they have said, but he did care about what one of them said.

"She's powerful, pretty and so kind with the little Rin. – You sure chose well, my lord." The eagle youkai said. And when he explained she was not his, he blinked twice and said. "Then, hurry up, Sesshoumaru-sama. – What the hell are you waiting for?"

He seemed very astonished. But, Sesshoumaru was waiting for nothing; he just wouldn't. "I do not intend to pursue the miko."

Almost immediately, the eagle brightened up, and smiling, he said "No? Seriously?"

Sesshoumaru refrained from lifting a brow. "Hn."

The smile grew bigger. "_Seriously?_"

Now, he lifted the brow. "Why would I lie?"

A second passed between them 'til the youkai started looking around the lounge. "Well, then…!" He smiled when he found her serving Rin a cup of grape juice. "Excuse me to take this chance. – Good night, my Lord."

He was shocked to say the least. And hold himself back not to look at his ally's chasing.

What – for everything that was holy – does she have that is so special that attracted so many males to her? First his brother, the kitsune, then the wolf, and now his ally, Van… He thought it was something that was reveled after one gets to know her, but yesterday night, watching his ally ran after the girl, Sesshoumaru decided that was not the case.

Was it her blue eyes? Was it her enchanting purity? Her uncommon beauty? Her power?

…Not that he thinks she was it all, no…

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru felt something big grow inside his throat and his mouth was forced to open to let a huge yawn out. He was sleepy and tired for the first time in two months…

Strange… He usually lasts more than that…

Sesshoumaru was familiar with Myouga's presence, so he did not bother to hide that little show of exhaustion. "That's a rare thing, my lord. Why so tired?", the flea asked and the taiyoukai ignored him, choosing to pay attention to any sound around the hot spring.

He did not say he would save her, however, he did not say he wouldn't either. And between the option of ignoring her screams for help and the option of saving her – strangely enough – he felt more comfortable with the second option.

'_Can I hug you?'_

'_Sesshoumaru…'_

'_Why can't you just hug me?'_

"She insists…" Sesshoumaru started. "In asking me to embrace her."

Myouga's head snapped at his direction and he gaped. "What? – She does?" He was surprised she had the courage to do so.

"Hn.", the lord nodded and looked down at him. "Why?"

"Well…" Myouga climbed the taiyoukai's haori and sat on his shoulder. "Kagome-sama is very kind, but very sensible as well. – One wrong word and she'll get very angry or depressed. But, if you betray her and regret it, she'll forgive you sincerely. And a right word and she'll get very happy and sometimes even change her mood. But if you show her any kind of affection towards her, my lord… you'll be pulled into her heart without knowing it.", he said and then smiled. "And by doing this, she is pulled into ours."

Sesshoumaru breathed, ignoring – or trying to – the sudden warm feeling inside his body. He scoffed. "No human is as you say."

"No youkais is as I say either." Myouga agreed. "But she's not a human or a youkai, is she?", he smiled.

Sesshoumaru looked down at him; his eyes narrowing a little. "In all my life until this moment I've never seen or heard of such miko."

Myouga nodded. "Me neither."

The cold and wild wind blew Sesshoumaru's bangs out of his forehead and he welcomed the cool feeling against his skin so much that he leaned his head back on the trunk of the tree he was sitting under. He breathed deeply and demanded "Explain."

"My lord, she may have the powers of a miko, but she has never been trained like one." He explained. "All the hate and coldness for youkais and hanyous that have been passed through their generations… she doesn't have it, she's not tainted by it."

Sesshoumaru furrow his brow a little, blinking. "Then… she is just a girl… with powers."

"Indeed."

The wind came again and this time bringing a scent that made both youkais look at the direction of the spring. Myouga smiled sadly. "My assumption is that she needs consolation, now. It's why she keeping asking you to hug her, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Sesshoumaru started to claw the grass beside him; the scent of tears making him uncomfortable. "Why?"

Myouga wanted to ask why the sudden interest in Kagome, but he knew better then go ahead and ask. "Because of Inuyasha, my lord. It's always Inuyasha-sama.", he answered.

Sesshoumaru leaned his head back on the tree again, without taking his eyes off the hill where she disappeared early. He could smell the distress and sadness even from that distance and he really wanted it to vanish. And if attending to her wish of embracing her was the only way to stop it…

No. She will keep mourning whatever she was mourning.

He had nothing to do with it, after all.

…

Just a girl… with powers… Not a miko; not a human. A living being with powers.

'_And with a good scent as well.'_, he completed in his mind as he smelled the air and turned his leaned head to see her walking up the hill.

Without the salty smell of the sea water or the sickly smell of makeup on her, her true smell took over again and Sesshoumaru was astonished to discover he _liked_ it. And before he knew it, another yawn escaped him and the calmness he was feeling lately – since when he did not know – increased in such a way that in seconds he was asleep, not knowing his subconscious kept working a little more…

_Beautiful. Elegant. Powerful. Submissive. Educated. Loyal._

_Beautiful. Checked._

_Elegant. Checked._

_Two down. Four more to go…_

x-•°•°•-x

Kagome sighed, trying to relax while the hot water did wonderful things to her back and feet. But what she really wanted was that something – anything – could do wonderful things to her mind too.

Because, seriously…

How could she ask _Sesshoumaru_ to _hug_ her? She certainly had a serious problem.

'_What was I thinking?'_, she thought. _'Couldn't have waited until get back to my friends and hug Sango? Why Sesshoumaru? Why Sesshou-Ma-Ru?'_

As soon as she wondered that really good question, the answer came like a lightning to her mind.

Because he was a male. And because her subconscious was trying to stop the pain caused by her love for Inuyasha with a new love. _'Well…'_, Kagome thought sadly. _'Too bad it'd be an unanswered love just like the previous one.'_

But, a hug from Sesshoumaru… If Sesshoumaru really hugged her, it'd mean more than any hug she'd ever get just because Sesshoumaru does not hug anyone. Hell, she seriously suspected he never hugged anyone in his life! Maybe just his mother. Sighing, Kagome let herself sink in the spring and stayed under water, looking at the sky. She didn't know why, but she liked the idea about being on Sesshoumaru's good side. Finally finding what to occupy her mind with, Kagome smiled.

She'd get that hug.

x-•°•°•-x

When Kagome entered the camp, Myouga was nowhere to be seen and Sesshoumaru apparently sleeping. To make sure, she reached for him with her powers and when her aura didn't tickle against his youki, a smile lighted her face. Sesshoumaru sleeping was perfect for her plan of sitting in front of him and watch. She wanted to watch, observe Sesshoumaru – try to decode him and Kagome was pretty sure she'd never get the chance while he's awake and capable of killing her. So, in front of him she sat and watched his chest moving with his breathing before looking at his peaceful face. Her smile grew bigger. Who'd have thought Sesshoumaru of the West slept with his mouth slightly open?

That was what she wanted! See the things and sides of Sesshoumaru that no one else ever saw and will never see.

Excited, Kagome crawled closer and looked fiercely at his closed eyes, trying to confirm her long-date question: were they another pair of markings or Sesshoumaru of the West used makeup?

'_Not that I'm questioning your manhood, my pompous Lord.'_ she thought as she stopped her advancing just before her nose could touch his.

Yup. Definitely another pair of markings.

Unfortunately, her eyes fell to his lips and an image of her kissing him flashed on her mind. Her smile was gone in a millisecond and sadness overtook her. As if Sesshoumaru would ever want to kiss her… as if _anyone_ would want to kiss her. Probably not even Kouga wanted a kiss, just jewel shards… Well, she could be exaggerating, but it was inevitable. Inuyasha's rejection damaged Kagome beyond repair, and now, she couldn't even believe she would ever fall in love again and get married… because of him. She wasted all her love in him… and was still wasting. Kagome cursed mentally her weakness as large tears pooled in her eyes. She was tired of crying and being sad.

Kagome looked at his eyes again and found them opened. Those deep, amazing golden pools staring right back at her blue ones in a way that took her breath away. He wasn't angry, disgusted; he wasn't looking down on her… he was simply looking at her, just looking at her eyes as if expecting to find something important inside of them. _'Did him find it?'_, she wondered. Of course, finding him awake when she was so close and doing something he probably wouldn't like scared the hell out of her, but she was too broken again for this… Too broken to notice her hand making its way to his silver bangs, but when she did notice, she hesitantly let it fall again – just like her tears – and tried to smile.

"It's pointless to ask, right?" Kagome asked, her voice full of sadness. "You'll never hug me…" She could already see her plan of getting him to hug her slipping from her fingers. Sighing, she stood and went to lay down in the base of a tree across from him. "A hug, a kiss… a caress and sweet words… no one will never do this tings for me…", she thought out loud unconsciously.

Sesshoumaru watched her make herself as comfortable as someone could laying on the ground and listened to her whimpers and little sobs. And because he was paying attention to her, he could hear a particular whimper that sounded too much like a phrase that stole his peace of mind.

"Than-k you… for listening… Sessh–"

And she cried.

x-•°•°•-x

Golden, watery eyes watched the shooting stars cross the dark sky while the beating heart within their owner's chest bled and screamed in agony with each pulse it pulsed.

Clawing the wood of the branch he was sitting on – to not claw himself like he wanted –, Inuyasha thought of Kagome. As always. He shook his head. No, not as always… Before this day, he always thought of her with joy, love, wanting, but now… Now his heart and his thoughts of her were overflowing of grieving pain, desperation and _hate_. For himself.

Because she was dead… he acted like a jerk again and now she was _dead_!

His eyes flashed between red and gold and he breathed deeply to control his insane blood. After all, what good would it do? Death and blood of tones and tones of citizens wouldn't make him feel better; wouldn't bring her back…

A howl broke through the night air and Inuyasha felt the urge to do the same as well to see if it'd less the pain inside, but he knew it wouldn't. The tears on his eyes were proof of that, and he hated the fact he was crying. Crying meant that she was really gone and there was nothing he could do about it – and in a very strange way, he still had hopes. Kagome could've fought and fried the fucker's ass but got lost in the water and ended up on the other side of the island and didn't know how to come back. Miroku and Sango already made plans on going search for her before the sunrise and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't hopeful.

But he'd be lying as well if he said he was, anyway.

**End Note:** Now, maybe some of you are now thinking 'She took the hell long to update, then I won't review!' – Please! My boyfriend broke up with me! You guys could cheer me up a little sending me reviews, don't you think? =DD


	4. It's okay to curse sometimes

**Author's note:**

I didn't take so long this time, did I? **=D** Hope you like this chapter, it was a PAIN to finish it **-**  
But I think I like the way it turned out ^^

Forgive me for possible mistakes, please? I haven't a beta yet **^^'**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha. But I do own Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru in my dreams ***-***

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

**(Garota Inu)**

4. It's okay to curse sometimes.

Sesshoumaru suppressed a yawn for the third time that day. And that was a record. – He was so furious that he wanted to curse. And Sesshoumaru never curses.

Ever.

But…

Damn. It. All. To. _Hell_.

Forever he was a being who treasured his sleep more than his meals and more than his business meetings; how could he skip a night which he even yawned? He was furious and she knew it. Sesshoumaru could feel her aura vibrating with awkward and confusion against his youki and he liked it.

"Uh, Sesshoumaru…?"

He ignored her. And ignored for the rest of the morning and for the beginning of the afternoon. Until the smell hit him hard in his face; so strong he could taste on his tongue… Disease. She was ill.

Sesshoumaru stopped and turned around to look at her. How surprised he was when he found her several, _several_ steps back, fallen on the ground. And he told himself it was pure reflex and sense of honor in giving the girl back to his brother in good conditions that made him ran and knee beside her.

"Kagome-sama!" Myouga cried, emerging from Sesshoumaru's pelt.

The lord touched her forehead with a fingertip. "She's burning.", he said. "Probably being in hot water in the cold wind is the cause of this."

Myouga looked at his master, then back at the girl and gulped. "I hope so. – But if it is the same illness that plagued Rin, we're going to lose her! We don't have all the medicines she does, my lord!"

Considering the flea's words, Sesshoumaru gave an experimental sniff and breathed a little relieved when he smelled a scent that was similar to Rin's when she was ill, but not the same; not so strong. He lifted her body in his only arm, running faster and faster, searching for a shelter from the cruel sun and just realized what he was doing when he entered in a hole on the ground – a den.

Sesshoumaru himself would not believe if someone else told him that he crawled in a den.

Covered in mud because of the humid earth – Sesshoumaru could only stand on his knees in there and it proved to be quite bothersome with just one arm. He adjusted her on his back and used his arm to crawl further in.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I do not know enough about humans to help her. What will we do?", Myouga panicked, jumping beside him as the advanced.

"I know.", he answered, but found it to be a little untrue. " I remember." Better.

Myouga jumped and landed on her upper lip, waiting for the gust of breath that would make him fly away, and when it came, his face became desperate, because he didn't even budge with her breath. "She's breathing too slow!"

Sesshoumaru refrained from snarling. The flea was too loud and uncontrolled. "Be quiet.", he snarled, anyway. "She needs a bath."

For the first time in ages, Myouga glared at his lord deeply upset. "Sesshoumaru-_sama_… I hardly think it's time to be–"

"To get her temperature down–" Sesshoumaru pierced his servant with a glare. "– She needs a bath."

Myouga nodded. "Yes, but the only spring nearby is the one she bathed yesterday. – It's hours from here!"

The lord took the girl in his arm again and threw her over his shoulder to crawl out of the den again. "Can you really not smell it?"

"Forgive me for being a flea." Myouga said skeptically, jumping to Kagome's back.

When they were out again, Sesshoumaru breathed again, as if he was holding his breath while inside. "You will hide the entrance of this den. I'll return shortly."

"Yes, my lord."

**x-•°•°•-x**

Dread.

Panic.

Horror.

Sesshoumaru was not accustomed to these emotions – in fact, he wasn't accustomed to any emotion at all –, for the simple fact he never was in a situation to feel them.

Until now.

He was standing stoic in the heart of a forest, as still as an statue of a god, looking with wide eyes and slightly-open mouth at the miko's body on the ground, breathing heavily as though she was in pain. And probably was.

And because of him.

He let her fall.

He was running through the trees at full speed and suddenly she fell, slipped from his arm. His _only_ arm. Maybe it was because of it he let her fall…

Shame.

And as if reading his mind, even with her face buried on the dirt, she breathed and said "Don't – It's not your fault, it's mine. I did this.", she lied.

Kagome knew right away Sesshoumaru was disturbed and blaming himself when he failed to pick her up as soon she hit the ground. It hurt like hell, but she wasn't going to say that to him; the last thing she wanted was to him to sulk more than he already was. Besides… now that she thought about it… She didn't lie. It _was_ her fault. She was the reason Sesshoumaru was missing an arm now. Kagome turned on her back, looking stiffly to the trees above her, and used her hand to wipe the cold sweat on her forehead. "You don't have to carry me, you don't have to take care of me…", she sighed, exhausted. "… or hug me… I'm sorry for the burden I've been for you, Sesshoumaru."

Said lord blinked, startled. He imagined what would happen if he did as she said – leave her here in the forest while she's ill, being an easy prey for bandits and youkais – and nearly choked when he realized he didn't like much the idea.

…

Scratch that. He hated it.

"Surely you are delirious." He said looking down at her. Too surprised to notice his eyes were a little wider because of it.

Kagome buried her fists in her eyes, gritting her teeth in order to keep her tears from falling. She was so, so tired of crying and so tormented by the dream she had last night that she whimpered. "I can't stay here any longer… I need to vanish from this Anti-Kagome world…" she laughed a little.

_Naraku fell dead on the background while Miroku & Sango walked away to north; Inuyasha & Kikyou to south; Kouga & Ayame to east… Surprisingly enough, she wasn't upset because of this. Her friends were happy, and in her dreams she had got over Inuyasha. But she knew, her heart wasn't free, it was occupied. Kagome slowly turned to look at her prospective match. They had passed through so much together…_

_But Sesshoumaru & growed-up Rin was already walking away to west._

_And then, only then Kagome cried hard. They had passed through so much together… but only _she _fell in love again._

_Only _she_ fell in unrequited love _again_. _

She knew he said more than once he didn't saw Rin this way, but it was on the tale. He married her! How could she think otherwise when she had a prove that he did – that he _will_? She was all alone… Even though she was surrounded by friends, she was all alone.

"I can't stay here any longer…", she repeated.

"By this you mean you have to return to the future?" Sesshoumaru asked, secretly wondering why all of sudden he was talkative.

Kagome slowly got up and leaned her body in a tree for support. She missed the astonished face Sesshoumaru made when she began walking away. "Inuyasha has a big aura and I've improved, so I can sense him a little from here. I can find him on my own.", she breathed.

Sesshoumaru was about to take a step to her, but refrained himself. "Your body is in no condition for such a trip. If you go, you will perish." He warned.

She turned around so suddenly and fast he almost did not have time to put his cold look back on. But masking his uneasy was in vain for what she said next made his eyes grow wide. "And if I stay I'll perish as well! The only difference is that the pain of staying would be with me _forever_, because this pain is not something that kills! I would live with it!" She yelled.

"Then, you should not let this disturb you. Ignore it." Sesshoumaru had no idea of what she was talking about, but this could be applied to any kind of pain.

Kagome just looked at him after that, a little surprised, even though she knew she shouldn't be. He was Sesshoumaru: the very same man who nearly melted her into purple, disgusting goo; the same man from the beginning… Of course he'd say something like that. But… she smiled sadly, tiredly at him. "Do you remember when I said that night that I wished I was dead?" He blinked and then nodded. "Forget that. I wish I was just like you: without any emotion at all. Maybe then I'd not feel this pain, right? – I would be able to _ignore_ it…"

He said nothing.

And she sighed. "I think I'll black out again…", she declared. "Thanks for…"

Kagome fainted.

Sesshoumaru caught her.

**x-•°•°•-x**

It was nightfall when Myouga nearly had a heart attack when his usually smooth, silent and gracious Lord landed hardly, _loudly_ on the ground, creating a considerably big crater in the earth. He could sense the anger coming off of him in waves and he just knew that someone would die this night. Or already died.

He saw the soaked haori and hair of his master and curiosity took the best of him. "Why my lord is all wet?", he asked. "What happened, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Sesshoumaru ignored his servant in favor to put the sleeping girl on his back and enter the den as soon as possible. He crawled until he reached the little space and mentally praised Myouga for his efficiency in making a bed for them with woods and leaves. But the curiosity of how he did this was too big. "How?"

Myouga stuffed his chest a little. "The art of possessing is meant for only a few."

"Hn."

He laid Kagome on one bed, covered the other with his pelt and lifted her again, laying her on his soft, furry pelt. He could cover her with the fur, but according to what he knew – _remembered_ – the body needed to stay cool, so he would resist the urge to keep her from the breeze.

'_Well…'_, he thought as he listed the things he remembered in his head. _'What next?'_

"Set up a fire, Myouga. I will hunt."

"Yes, my lord."

Sesshoumaru crawled his way out again and Myouga followed, neither aware of Kagome's consciousness. For the first time, Kagome saw that to enter this den with one arm was a pain for the prideful Taiyoukai – and not just enter a den, but eat and fight with a sword using the arm you weren't used to as well… The guilt was eating her from the inside, threatening to swallow her whole and chew her heart forever.

But she intended to right her wrongs with him… and she'd do it _now_.

Reaching for her neck, Kagome grabbed her bottle of jewel shards, praying for this to work. She prayed under her breath, asking with all her might that they'd grant her this favor.

And because they did, later when Sesshoumaru returned, he found the den empty.

**x-•°•°•-x**

Myouga discovered that _he_ was the one dying tonight when he was approaching the den. A deep, thick and _**monstrous**_ youki was flaring out of it and no doubt it was his Lord. His _oh_-so-pissed Lord. And although his sense of survival was screaming to him to come back later, his curiosity and concern about what caused Sesshoumaru to be like this was pushing him forward and soon he was staring to an empty bed and an extremely confused and helpless taiyoukai.

"Jus-just track her down, Sesshoumaru-sama! I'm sure we'll find her soon and you'll kill whoever kidnapped her." _'And not me.'_, he finished in his head;

Sesshoumaru remained still, but his aura was wildly licking around: the perfect show of being uncontrolled.

"No one, no one was in here to take her. And her scent starts and ends right _in this spot_. The miko did not move. She should be here…" He said, barely containing his confused rage. "It is as if she…" he trailed off.

Myouga encouraged. "As if she…?"

Sesshoumaru clenched his fists at his thoughts, and he did not even know why he did so. "As if she had vanished…"

'_From this anti-Kagome world…'_

**x-•°•°•-x**

He did not feel comfortable about leaving the den. Despite the fact that she was not pack, she was his brother's and was under his care for now, so it was his duty to make sure she was safe. It was his instinct. It was like a reflex. And he _failed_. Failed!

Sesshoumaru growled for the zillionth time that afternoon as he sped up his pace to Edo. He needed to ask if it was normal, if it was how she time-traveled or if he needed to worry. Not for the girl, no. Of course not. But for his honor and reputation, yes.

"_You are a great king.", she said at one point of the dinner after a moment of silence between them._

"_Did you ever heard of my leadership?" he asked._

"_No."_

_He lifted a brow. "In this case, how do you know?"_

_Kagome smiled. "You fear doin–"_

"– _I fear noth–"_

"_Let me finish!", she giggled. "You fear doing something wrong, you fear failing. And if you fear something, you just don't do it. Either you succeed or you succeed. Failure is just not an option to you and it is what makes me sure of your great leadership."_

He _did_ feel warm with her speech and for that, he was grateful. And yes, he was able to feel grateful. Some lords helped him once in war and he was grateful to them. Then, he was grateful to her for healing Rin, for doing her best at the dinner, for seeing and acknowledging things no one ever did and saying them to his face. Therefore, because of this, Sesshoumaru allowed himself to worry for _her_.

And nothing more.

"Myouga… how does she go to the future?"

The flea, understanding his lord, answered sadly. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama, but I have yet to see how she does it. – But I do not think she does just by disappearing in thin air."

Damn.

"But… I once heard of a dried well in Inuyasha's forest near the sacred tree.", Myouga offered.

Sesshoumaru's scowl deepened more. _'Well, damn.'_ They were too far from that well to consider she was in the future. Besides, her scent left no trail to track down; her scent ends where it begins, so she was not in the future.

He worried.

'_Kagome-sama is very kind.'_

'_But if you show her any affection…you'll be pulled into her heart without even noticing.'_

…

Damn.

**x-•°•°•-x**

Chaos.

That was the only way to describe his brother: tied by ropes, sealed by sutras and stuck in a barrier… This was not the first time Sesshoumaru saw his sibling in this state, however, the first time his brother was _better_ than this time. Letting his power run free for the sake of those he holds precious was – in a way – a brave and honorable act. But now?

Now it was pitiful.

"How long?", he asked loud enough for the monk hear him above his brother's roaring.

"About three days or so."

Sesshoumaru discretely swallowed. The miko disappeared three days ago… and he could not even find a hint of where she might be. "Why?" Even when he knew the answer already…

Miroku sighed heavily. "Kagome. – He thinks she's dead.", his voice trembled.

Sesshoumaru snapped his dead to look at the priest. _'Dead?'_ Was it not the full moon? Naturally, when the moon disappeared from the night sky, Inuyasha was doomed to lose his powers and become a human; and when the moon was at its fullest, he'd gain too much power to bear and would transform. But it was because of the girl?

'_Dead?'_ was all he could think.

"Dead? And why is it?" Would his brother be so connected to the miko that he would be able to sense such a thing?

Miroku bit his bottom lip a little. "She and I fought about four or five days ago and she went out to the beach to clear her head. That was the last time anyone saw her."

_The crab youkai, the sea, the sharks…_

"Since then Inuyasha has not been Inuyasha at all…"

Relief washed over him so suddenly, so powerful he almost thought he was floating in the air. So the hanyou did not sense anything. She was not dead.

She

Was

Not

Dead…

And the rightness of these words was so certain that Sesshoumaru fixed his posture better, looked down at the monk and said "The miko is not dead."

"What? What do you know?" Miroku demanded, forgetting temporally who he was talking to.

And because the taiyoukai comprehended, he did nothing. "I saw her three days ago."

"Oh God… thank you!" Miroku smiled. Relief wasn't even enough to begin to describe what he was feeling. "Where? Tell me and I will go to her now."

Sesshoumaru just kept looking. The monk was _so_ relieved knowing the miko was alright… He was very worried for her. _'You will be pulled into her heart without even noticing it.'_, he remembered. The monk was one of the pulled ones, the lord concluded.

"No." he said. "I shall do it myself."

Miroku furrowed his brow. "You? – Forgive me, but may I ask why the sudden charity, my Lord?"

Sesshoumaru blinked and turned around to leave, already walking away. "No."

As he traveled back to the den, Sesshoumaru found out he was more than just disturbed, but it he anticipated. The reason that was a surprise… Thinking it would be because of the girl, Sesshoumaru was astonished it was because of him and his brother.

The Inu Lord could say nothing to lower Inuyasha. _'Because I am in the same situation than him.'_, he growled.

Tied by hopes, sealed by requests of a hug and stuck deep within a heart.

**x-•°•°•-x**

"_What on _earth_ you think you're doing?" Sesshoumaru looked back at her over his shoulder. He saw the miko frowning at him; he frowned back. "Don't tell me you were going to jump."_

_He looked down at the huge cliff in front of him. The height was so enormous he was above the clouds and he could not even see a thing beyond them. It was then he realized they were not white, but pink: a soft pink that suspiciously reminded him of her aura._

"_I was not.", he finally answered._

_Instead of looking relieved, she looked angry. "And why the hell not?", she was shocked. And somewhat hurt. "Why not if I like you…?"_

_As soon as she said those unexpected words, something pushed – or rather pulled – him down the edge and he fell in that sea of pink – aura, he decided._

_And it felt _great.

Sesshoumaru's eyes snapped open and he did not even know what woke him until he heard a heavy breathing and the sound of something too much hot being cooled down; like water in hot metal. He looked around the clearing, but there was not anything to be seen. Hearing better, he found out it was coming from the den.

And it was all he had to know.

Sesshoumaru crawled, pushed, clawed his way through the entrance of the den and when he got there… he didn't even have words.

The miko was on all fours, breathing so heavily to the point of coughing and smoke was coming off her in waves. When she gave a particular cough that was stronger than the others, he then noticed the red bag tied to her back, but could not pay attention to it. The only thing in his mind was that she was back and the warmth and relief of seeing her was so overwhelming that he _sighed_ in front of her.

The taiyoukai saw her lift her head to look at him and saw her lips being pushed to become a beautiful smile and he knew in that moment that he did not fell down that cliff… He _jumped_ down that cliff.

And it felt _great_.

**x-•°•°•-x**

Ohhh, so is it going to be this way? He would not stop staring at her? Is that it?

"Look, I'm not a ghost! I'm okay!", she squealed.

He ignored her. "What do you have in your satchel?"

Kagome paled. He could not find out. Not now. "Er… you'll see soon enough."

Sesshoumaru deepened his frown. "_What_ do you have in your satchel?"

Oh, God, he repeated himself." It's like you said: My satchel, my privacy. – Why are you being so nosy?"

The inu pressed his lips together. She was right, but he was worried. After allowing himself to worry for her, he found it hard to stop again. "How is your health?"

Kagome stopped in her tracks, nearly tripping over. _Sesshoumaru_ asked about her health? Her heart skipped a beat and she smiled. "The flu is gone, but my energy isn't back. – But I'm fine, don't worry." She hurried to say, resuming her walk.

"I am not worried." He could admit it to himself, but never for anyone else.

Kagome smiled knowingly. "Of course not."

The silence fell upon them, but neither of them was uncomfortable and Kagome loved that. It meant some sort of companionship – she didn't dare to say _friend_ship yet – was blooming and she couldn't help but beam at that. It wasn't like she no longer appreciated her old friends anymore, but become a friend of the Icy Prince was just for a few. It was special!

"I saw Inuyasha." His voice saying these words was like a punch in her face. "He is out of control. I believe it is because of your absence."

"Out of control? You mean he transformed?"

"Hn." Sesshoumaru saw her sighing and clenching her fist above her chest, her eyes watering a little more by the seconds. "I've got to help him – We need to travel faster."

Sesshoumaru cursed himself in his mind for not liking the idea of their departure arriving earlier.

"Can we fly?", she begged.

The lord refrained from showing his current emotion: envy. He wanted that loyalty for himself, that devotion… he wanted it.

"Can we fly?", she asked again.

'_Can I hug you?'_, her voice echoed in his pointed ears.

Sesshoumaru already had his answer.

**x-•°•°•-x**

_Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome Kagome…_

"**Kag…me…**", he growled.

"She'll be back soon, now _quiet_." Miroku was a patient man: a virtue gained after years of practice of meditation, but the growling was starting to get on his nerves.

"**She won't… be back. She' dead.**"The youkai snarled and whimpered at the thought. "**I can't feel… I don't feel her anymore.**"

Miroku rolled his eyes. "Because she's not here."

"**But she always was!**" Inuyasha roared, making Miroku cringe at the volume. "**The** **only thing that would make her leave me is death! And it DID! She's not here anymore!**", he squirmed inside the barrier.

Miroku was ready to remind his dear friend that his dear brother was bringing his dear girl back when someone entering the hut stopped him and he gasped when he saw who was there.

'_Oh, God, no…'_

"Why is he youkai?" Kikyou demanded.

Inuyasha was overwhelmed with grief and feeling and he could just bear so much. Her voice was his break down.

"**You** **won't drag me to hell!**" He cried out, crawling as far away from her as he could stuck in a barrier.

Kikyou lifted a brow. "Why do you not wish it anymore?"

"**I never did!**" he yelled. "**Kagome's not there.**"

Kikyou slowly frowned, her rage making her lips to tremble. "You gave me your word.", she murmured slowly.

Inuyasha bared his fangs to her, his blue eyes narrowing. "**Go to hell – And since you like it so much, you can take my word with you.**"

Kikyou's eyes traveled all over him in disgust. "Come find me when you're sober." She turned and left the hut.

Miroku then allowed himself to breath.

How he wished Inuyasha's words were sincere.

**x-•°•°•-x**

**End Note: **Next Chapter!: Sesshoumaru willl have to say goodbye to her, oh my… Review? *-*'


	5. Gifts exchange

**Author's note:**

People, I'm alive! \o/  
Here is a Christmas gift for you all: Can I Hug You? - Chapter 5 *-*

Sorry for being ultra-late, but my life is sure busy and I'm going mad! - But now it's finally break! *-*

Hope you like this chapter, it was a pain to write xD Writer's block was ruthless this time .

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfictions **xD**

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

**(Garota Inu)**

5. Gifts exchange.

When Sesshoumaru was just a little pup he could not participate in certain rituals that occurred during festivities the other youkai lords held, so he would stay in a specific area reserved just for the pups entertainment where they would play until the end of the event. But, although Sesshoumaru was a pup just like the others, he has always been a quiet one. A ridiculously quiet one. He never played with the other cubs, he would sit in a corner and read some scroll he stole from his father's library before leaving his manor or he would just sit and wait for his sires' arrival.

Of course, he never gets to spend the whole feast like he wished to. Two annoying beings would not let him.

Van, the eagle youkai who at present is his loyal ally, and – believe it or not – a much younger Kouga, who Sesshoumaru cut all ties with when he discovered he was the leader of Rin's murderers. They would drag him from his so loved solitude to a chaotic, noisy bunch of uncontrolled pups and Van would – since Kouga didn't know how to speak yet – say "Guuuys, look! This is Sessh of the West!" Van grinned, showing his human-looking teeth.

Van always has thought of Sesshoumaru as a kind of soon-to-be-hero, so he knew several things about him, including the fact that praise Sesshoumaru's skills was a great way to persuade him. So, when the time his sire came to pick him up to leave, he got sad because he just started to have fun.

And now, Sesshoumaru was facing a similar situation.

Watching Edo temple's torii, the taiyoukai frowned a little, feeling slightly uneasy. _"Why do we have to depart so soon?" _he asked that night and his mother's answer were always the same _"We were here for seven hours, dear. Try to have fun earlier next time, so you won't get so sad."_

Sesshoumaru looked down at the girl sitting by his feet as he descended from the sky and landed gently on the border of the forest. And although he didn't help her to her feet, Sesshoumaru knew he should since the miko had the bag with her new kimono and make-up and that foolish satchel of hers.

Kagome stood and turned to him, planning on saying everything she thought of saying… but it never came. '_Oh, come on! Can't be so dumb in front of royalty in a moment like this!'_, she desperately scolded herself. _'Say it already! Thanks for everything – I enjoyed our time together, really, it was fun! – Sorry for troubling you with my childish problems and worrying you with my sudden disappearance. – I hope I helped with your ladies issue and I hope we meet again, because I really enjoyed your company and –'_

"Can I hug you?" Kagome sighed, mortified. She lost again; she couldn't help herself, so she lowered her head, nervously worrying the hem of her haori. His denial strangely being slightly more painful than before.

Sesshoumaru felt his stomach turn in confusion and indecision. He did not want to hug the miko, but unlike the previous times she asked him such a gesture, he definitely did not want her crying…

Kagome already knew what his silence meant, what she _didn't_ know was _why_ she still tried… She reminded herself of Houjo and his endless attempts to win her heart. Sometimes he was so unco–

Then, it hit her.

Oh, _**God**_, she was _annoying_! Endless whining Drowning in shame and feeling thousand different tones of red color her face, Kagome looked at the taiyoukai apologetically. "No, no – I mean! Forget it, please! No need to hug me and – Gosh, I'm so pathetic! I'm so sorry…! I pro–"

Kagome froze when she saw his hand rising slowly. No. Way. He was going to hug her? Right here and right now? She held her breath as she exploded in happiness and closed her eyes. Then, she felt it.

_Pat–Pat…_

Sesshoumaru was patting her. A big, clawed hand tangled in her hair, patting her head in the gentlest way she'd ever knew one could be patted. Kagome looked up at him, shock written all over her face, and his hand – which was on the top of her head – was now on her bangs and she could feel his warm skin on hers. It was then that she snapped. The tears came up with no mercy and she mentally cursed; Kagome didn't want to cry and make the taiyoukai more uncomfortable than she was sure he already was, but she was just…

She sobbed. "Tha-thank you… so, so much…!", she couldn't take her eyes off him, neither could she move away from him. It was pretty obvious for everyone with a brain that Kagome didn't see Sesshoumaru as an enemy anymore, he was a friend. _Her_ friend. And she liked him so much! She closed her eyes again and leaned in his hand to feel a little more. That pat on her head just meant it was not an one-sided friendship, she knew it.

But did he know it too?

Kagome hoped he did.

**x-•°•°•-x**

"Sango, have you seen Inuyasha?"

"I'm stuck in here with these old hags since dawn and probably will be until dusk – I didn't even have breakfast, Kagome – Do I look like I've seen that bastard?"

"Miroku, have you seen Inuyasha?"

"I have not, Kagome-sama, I am sorry. – Maybe Sango did?"

"Shippou, have you seen Inuyasha?"

"Nop."

"Kaede?"

"I'm afraid not, my child."

Kagome let herself lean hard on a tree and crouched tiredly as she sighed. For almost five months, since Miroku found the courage to tell her about Kikyou's visit, she hated losing sight of Inuyasha. Her fear of a new appearance suffocated her in a way that, sometimes, she couldn't even breath normally. Like now…

"You know, instead of going through all this trouble, you could always call my name."

His _voice_. The relief was so huge she couldn't even move to look up at him. But it was not necessary, anyway. She knew he was lying in a branch right above her.

"What if you were too far to hear me?"

He snorted. "You know I never go that far."

"You will…"

The heaviness of her words was so great he thought his heart would stop. Inuyasha casted a hurting glance at her. "…" It was no use… What he wanted to say he couldn't say. "It won't be so far that I wouldn't hear you.", he murmured softly.

'_I'll always hear your voice, wherever I go.'_ Was what he meant and she knew that.

Kagome's lips trembled and she buried her face in one hand while the other gripped the grass beside her tightly. She smiled weakly. "Because your hearing is the best, right?"

"Nah…" he said as he sighed; a ghost of a smile on his lips. "You were always louder than anyone, wench." Her eyes went wide. Did he mean… what she thought he meant?

'"_I love you more."? Or "I prefer you."? Or "You're louder in me than anyone else."?... or…'_

Kagome smirked bitterly. _'None of the above.'_

He heard the littlest of Kagome's laugh and looked down at her… There were no doubts his heart stopped beating when he saw her head was lifted high so she could pierce him with those impossibly blue eyes of hers that were shedding tears non-stop down her sorrowful, smiley face. He was sure he heard his heart break when she sobbed.

"Inuyasha, please, don't fool yourself… you never heard anyone's voice but yours." The hanyou opened his mouth to protest, but she didn't let him. "You're not doing it for her, not anymore." The miko took a deep breath and raised herself from the ground with her head down, walking away. "It's just to keep your stupid _word_."

"Oi, you–"

"You better prepare yourself!" Kagome yelled without stopping her pacing. "You'll be sitting next to _them_ tonight."

"Them…?" he asked, confused, but it didn't take him long to understand. "Oh shit, you _didn't_! I thought it'd be only that–"

"It's useless, Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted from the base of the hill as she turned and gave him her coldest look. "I can't hear you anymore."

**x-•°•°•-x**

"Give up already."

_Flash!_ Kagome took another picture. "Stop."

"He hasn't showed his face for five months! Why would he come now?"

"Because I asked." Another two. _Flash Flash!_

"Sure, 'cause he reeeally do as one asks."

"And I reeeally am going to slap you if you don't stop saying things, Kouga."

The wolf lifted his hands defensively. "Okay, okay. It's just that… it's strange seeing you chasing after another dog besides the mutt. – Do you have a thing for dogs? I am one too, you know! Why won't you chase _me_?"

"Kouga, you're a wolf." Kagome said as she crouched down a little to get a better angle for the picture.

"All the more reason! – I'm wilder.", he purred.

"Oi, stop that!" Inuyasha said from his newly taken place behind them.

The wolf grinned. "What happened? Tired of dancing?"

"Dancing? I wasn't dancing, asshole!"

Kouga faked apologetic surprise. "Oh, my, I thought the old lady over there was you! Y'know, white hair and all…"

"You stupid bastard, I…"

Kagome tuned the canine duo out and sighed happily as she watched and photographed Sango and Miroku performing their First Dance. The wedding was gorgeous and they were so beautiful in white that Kagome just couldn't look away. They seemed so happy together; their smiles so big that it was as if Naraku was dead, Kohaku was alive and the Kazaana was gone. It reminded her of the time she spent with Sesshoumaru at his manor and how it was like a summer break that made her forget about the hanyou who came from hell and about the hanyou who wants to go there. Her mind was free from the problems; that was a time free from fights and yelling and her biggest problem was getting a hug.

_Flash!_

Suddenly her spine went all straight and the hairs on her nape stood on end. An aura.

_Sesshoumaru._

But as soon as she felt it, it was gone… Oh, no. Was she so deep in those thoughts that for just a second, she got the impression he finally came? Probably. But, whatever! Illusion or not, it was really good to be able to fell his aura again.

Oh, how she missed it… how she missed _him_…

Since that night when Sesshoumaru _called_ her to take care of Rin, the meetings with the taiyoukai became a kind of charging process; a chance to forget all the things that make her miserable, but this charging was never completed, because Sesshoumaru wasn't a warm, caring person. He was cold and never offered any comfort or consolation that was the reason of why she wanted that hug so badly.

In the first month after their parting, smiling was almost easy to do and her heart was lighter for the first time since she found out about Inuyasha intended to go to hell. Kagome was still excited about knowing things about Sesshoumaru anyone else didn't and still live after that. But more than that, they were friends. She knew it wasn't like that to him and knew that it was way too early to call him a friend, but it was just the way she was: a big, stupid easily-trusting girl.

The problem started when it completed three months since their parting.

In the first month, Inuyasha was worse than glue and wouldn't leave her side, worried she would disappear again. Kagome didn't mind in the beginning, but after this first month together – when she said he wouldn't leave her side, she meant it – she started trying to get away at least for ten minutes. And now she wished she never did. After some sneaking, Inuyasha became more relaxed about her leaving his sight and soon he was the one who disappeared from time to time.

What if he was seeing Kikyou?

It was then her peace ended.

_Flash! Flash!_ She knew some pictures would come out all wrong and blurred, but she could always delete them later.

Knowing those thoughts of hers was getting more and more dangerous, Kagome sighed and refocused her mind on her newly married friends, but saw something that made her tilt her head to the side and hum in confusion. Was Sango's veil larger than before? But that was impossible! Veils just don't grow! She blinked, forcing her eyes to see better and blew a small "Oh…" when she noticed it was just something white a little far behind her. However, when she looked for it, there was nothing there to be seen.

Oh, whatever.

"Kagome! You look so, so beautiful!" Shippou came running from the dancing crowd and jumped to her shoulder. "The most one!"

She laughed. "Oh, that's just too unfair! – Sango has never been so stunning."

"Neither have you.", he said.

Kagome turned her head to smile to her kit, but her eyes were sharp enough to catch a white flash in the middle of the woods and it didn't take long to her mind associate the white in the woods with the aura she _thought_ was Sesshoumaru.

Youkai.

As soon as she opened her mouth to shout and tell everyone to hide, she felt it. Calling her, persuading her, poking her senses and begging for her to notice it: powerful, huge, invincible…

_Oh_, that aura of his…

Kagome even hadn't the need to close her eyes to know where he was hiding. Her joyous look pierced right at his empty one and she mouthed "Come!"

Sesshoumaru tilted his head to the side and blinked; Kagome melted. Oh, the cuteness! She knew he didn't want to, but… "Please…"

… If he did as she was asking, would it be the same as obeying her? He looked at her smaller-than-his-hand form in the distance and smelled the air again. The miko reeked of happiness and it wasn't there before he allowed her to notice his presence.

Hn.

He might as well _grant_ her – not obey – this wish.

Kagome was starting to wonder if the taiyoukai wasn't just an illusion when suddenly he was less than a meter from her. She gasped and giggled excitedly when the fact that he was really there finally sank in. "You came!"

_Flash!_

"Hnn."

**x-•°•°•-x**

"Can I ask you a question?" Kagome broke the silence.

Sesshoumaru seemed to think for a moment and finally said "You just did."

She laughed. "Then, I'll ask another one.", she looked at him for approval, but he was busy searching something in the sky. When he did nothing to show he was listening, Kagome shrugged and asked "Why just now?"

Sesshoumaru never took his eyes from the blue infinity and kept looking every direction, as if he had lost something there, and never answered her either, which was making her a little nervous. So, like every time she gets nervous, she started blabbering. "I-I mean… It's been a long time and all – And I never heard from Rin, I was worried – and I kept wondering if your reputation among females has improved or… not… and… Seriously, what are you looking for?" Kagome finally asked.

This time, he stopped what he was doing and turned around to look at her. _'Well, finally.'_ But what he said next caught her totally off guard and made her nervous, restless all over again. "It has improved."

Kagome halted on her walking, her eyes wide. "R-really?"

He nodded. "After your assistance, I considered wearing dark garments. It worked."

Usually, listen to Sesshoumaru talking about what colors he's been wearing would make her laugh out loud, but… her mind was still focused on what his first answer meant: Sesshoumaru was closer than ever of finding a mate. He was building his future…

She was stuck in her past. She should do the same as him.

But with who? Kagome doubted she'd be able to settle in a common life in the modern era, married to a businessman, or a doctor, being a teacher or a writer having one kid, get old and die. It was a beautiful and very perfect life in her opinion… until her fifteenth birthday. Now she longed for adventures, longed for her little kit, craved for this oh-so-wonderful mating bond… And the only place she could get all of this was here, in the Feudal Era.

Kagome cleared her throat and did her best to smile decently. "That's great!", she praised. "And… Did you pick one already?"

Sesshoumaru could feel the distress in her voice, but knew it could be product of many things. What he wanted to know was why she was so nervous if she was so happy moments ago. "A mate is not something you point a finger at a crowd and choose.", he said as he resumed his walk; the miko following behind. "A mate must be compatible with the one who's choosing."

"Otherwise, you might be condemned to die of boredom or even end up killing your own mate?", she guessed.

"Very sharp."

"Thank you."

An silence fell upon them after that, but neither felt uncomfortable with its presence. The only thing that was bothering Kagome was her peaceless tongue, which was dying to ask the question Sesshoumaru so skillfully evaded. He did or did not find a mate? Why the hell she cared if he did or not? Kagome couldn't possibly have fallen for the Dog, she was crying for Inuyasha just this morning, for God's sake! The thought of Inuyasha dying and going to hell was enough to make her heart stop and the thought of Sesshoumaru finding another mate was enough to make her heart hurt.

What was happening to her? Was she that type of girl that likes tons of guys at the same time? _'Please, God, no.'_

A twig snapped ahead of them, but it seems the miko failed to notice. So defenseless… Sesshoumaru sniffed the air and twisted his nose when human scent hit him strongly in the face. A man. He sniffed again, but all he could smell was wonder and curiosity; nothing threatening. In fact… it was highly probable it was the man he encountered earlier, in his way to Edo. Sesshoumaru ignored him.

"That wolf…"

Kagome blinked, surprised by the sudden question. "Oh, that's Kouga, he's an ally. – Why do you ask?"

He shrugged.

She blinked again. _'Trying to pull the chain…?'_ "Okay…" she murmured as she avoided a low tree branch and a high root at the same time.

"The monk…" Sesshoumaru started. "He is still carrying the void, is he not?"

Kagome nodded. "The Kazaana, yes.", she sighed. "Naraku cursed his lineage. First his grandfather, then his father and now… him."

"And the taijiya still marries him…", he pondered.

"What does it have to do with anything?" The miko asked and Sesshoumaru mentally smirked. Ah… that fire of hers. "Do you think Sango's stupid because she's marrying a dying man?", she demanded, her voice a little louder than before. He needed her to be angry…

"I know." To yell at him.

"Sango is not like this."

Sesshoumaru stopped walking and turned to look at her. "Should I assume you are trying to imply true love exists?" He missed that fighting spirit. He wanted someone yelling at him; he was tired.

"Definitely."

"Please."

"I'm serious."

"I have never seen it in all this centuries."

Kagome growled. "Well, you are seeing one now!" Sesshoumaru blinked twice and she sighed and blushed. "Sango and Miroku, not me."

"Why not?" He instigated. She was almost there, just one yelling. "How can you be so sure of something if even you have not experienced it yourself?"

Kagome breathed deeply as she sat on a rock and focused her eyes on the ground. "But I have."

Sesshoumaru furrowed his brow. Who, he wondered as a strange feeling assaulted him. Not a friendly one.

"I just haven't experienced it with someone."

The taiyoukai quirked a brow, confused. "I fail to see your point."

The miko lazily looked up at him and Sesshoumaru could see the tears shining in her eyes, which made him angry. He wanted her anger, not her sadness. "I have fallen in love with _the idea_ of living a true love. – Living with this feeling for so long made me a romantic and since I was eight my dream is to love and be loved…", she licked her lips; her eyes lost in nothing again. "But it seems that I've got only half of it."

If Sesshoumaru understood what she meant, he didn't let it show on his face and in a way, Kagome was thankful for that. It was a chance to change the subject. "So… What made you decide to come only tonight? I asked you to visit many times before, but just now you decided to come. Why now?", she asked.

Sesshoumaru looked back at the sky and pointed a finger. "There."

Kagome was confused at first, but when she forced her eyes and saw him standing in the middle of a clearing pointing to the sky she finally understood. He was showing her the reason of coming tonight. Right? Kagome stopped beside him and looked at where the clawed finger pointed. "What is it?"

"It's you."

…

… Now, he lost her completely. "What?"

"The stars under Cassiopeia." Sesshoumaru told her. "Ka." (Kanji)

When she found it, Kagome gasped. He was right. "Was it the thing you were looking for a while ago?"

"Hnn."

She was flattered. _And_ curious. "Why?", she asked. Sesshoumaru knew she would ask, so he just shrugged his shoulder, and at that same instant something sparkled before his eyes and the taiyoukai blinked as the miko giggled excitedly. "Fireflies!", squealed. "It's so rare to see them."

Sesshoumaru lifted a brow. "Rare?"

"Yes." Kagome smile. "At least in the future."

Rare? Rare was hearing people saying they rarely see fireflies. At least in this past. He used to be surrounded by them every other night when he was a pup; they were good to train at night. Besides…

They are everywhere.

With a fast and smooth movement of his only arm, Sesshoumaru attacked nowhere exactly – Kagome wasn't able to see – and suddenly there was light.

"Oh, my God!" Kagome covered her mouth out of surprised. Dozens, hundreds of fireflies were flying ultra-fast around them – probably in distress because of Sesshoumaru's aggressiveness –, making the scene something magical. Kagome let out a soothing aura in the clearing and smiled larger when the green lasers slowed down to become sparkling insects in a calm flight.

Sesshoumaru felt the urge to yawn but ignored it, for he knew he was not tired. It was her peaceful aura doing this to him. And it was not until now – feeling calmness flowing through his veins along with blood – that he realized how much it was necessary to him and how much he lacked it at home: peace… the feeling of being at home.

He did not even know the last time he felt this… comfortable.

Kagome was thrilled and with so many fireflies and distracted with the one that landed on her nose when she noticed Sesshoumaru… Covered in light from head to toe; and he didn't seem to be aware of it. Mentally giggling, to not end that moment just yet, Kagome wished she had a camera with her now. "It really suits you.", she grinned.

The taiyoukai blinked out of his thoughts and frowned when noticed his condition, letting out his little-more-than-annoyed aura and scaring the insects away. It worked and soon the clearing was drowned in darkness once more. Kagome rolled her eyes , smiling. "Cranky, but thank you for the gift, Sesshoumaru.", she bowed.

Sesshoumaru refrained from grimacing. He found it utterly odd having the miko bowing to him. "It was not a gift.", he said.

"Either way, I'm grateful." The miko smiled and began to walk again, but in the opposite direction they were going before.

He asked "Where do you intend to go?"

"Goshinboku."

"For what purpose?"

"You'll see."

They walked side by side in silence, but Sesshoumaru's mind was a mess. Knowing the priestess the way he did, she would want to return the gift she thought he gave. But what gift could the miko possibly give him? He already has everything and if he did not, it is easily cured when he sends his servants to go buy his necessities.  
What could it possibly be—A thought crossed his mind, almost causing the taiyoukai to halt.

… A hug?

Sesshoumaru silently panicked. He did not want her to cry.

They stopped at the giant tree's roots and the miko could not look happier, what confirmed his thoughts: if the reason why they were there was in fact a gift, she surely would hug him.

Kagome grinned to him. "Ready?"

'_No.'_ "What for?"

"It's a thank-you gift.", she said.

… For the first time in centuries, Sesshoumaru wanted to flee. "I do not wish for one."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that if I were you." Kagome smirked. "You don't know what it is."

"A hug?"

Sesshoumaru thought the words were still in his mind… He only noticed that he had said those hurtful words when she took a step back and her face changed completely. She was smiling in a second and in the other she was sadly shocked… what confirmed his thoughts wrong: it was not a hug…

Suddenly, the miko let out a long, exhausted sigh and her face went blank. "No, it's not a hug, Sesshoumaru.", she said as she crouched to the ground and half entered under the sacred roots, coming out again with a thin, but long, unprofessionally made wooden box.

Sesshoumaru felt stupid.

The miko brought it to him and started to try pulling the top open. "Sorry for not having anything better to keep it comfortable, but I tried to buy a proper cushion in a village and Inuyasha wouldn't–" She pulled harder, but the top didn't open. "–wouldn't give us a break, then I used a few of my clothes."

The box finally opened. Her scent assaulted his nose and Sesshoumaru could not believe his own eyes; he could feel the shock adorning his features, but it was too big for him to try to hide.

Kagome liked his reaction. It meant he liked it. But she couldn't bring herself to smile. He hurt her with those words, but she didn't feel like crying too (which was a GOOD thing)… maybe her heart hasn't figured it out yet? Whatever. She just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

Sesshoumaru was going to take it from the box when her stoic voice startled him. "Oh, yes, look at this–" she took his missing arm on her hands and tossed the box aside loudly. The miko was mad, he knew. "There was a little gash here, because a bird was biting on it, so I stitched it up for you, but I guess it will heal once it's connected back."

Without another word, the priestess put his haori out of the way, adjusted his arm on its place and soon a glow blinded him for a second, making his arm to itch all over. It was very fast; as soon as it started it ended and Sesshoumaru wasn't feeling well with all that dizziness clouding his mind.

"Are you feeling your fingers?" Kagome asked as she picked the box and the top from the ground. His answer was opening and closing his hands. "Good. – I'm going now. And don't overdo it for a while or else your muscles will hurt."

Sesshoumaru looked at her leaving form. "Miko."

"Don't worry, I'll not ask for a hug as a payment or anything. – Rest assured."

"Miko." He tried again, with authority this time.

"Good bye, Sesshoumaru."

And then, she vanished among the trees.

**x-•°•°•-x**

Hours passed. He was still restless.

He was not dizzy anymore, but just because he never had been to begin with. After hours torturing himself by thinking of that damned event over and over, he concluded that feeling was not dizziness. It was great confusion; the feeling of not knowing what to do, the feeling of being lost… Sesshoumaru felt stupid. He wanted to hit himself, break that bedroom down until there is nothing left.

He was _angry_.

So angry he could not breathe normally, so angry he could not know why; Sesshoumaru hurried to his balcony – the same one he was when he saw the miko unconscious, floating in the sea, and his eyes softened a little bit.

The worst part… was that his restores arm was covered in her scent. Her scent was so strong it seemed it was her arm more than it was his. Ruthless torture, trying to drive him insane…

He gave her pain and she gave him his arm back. How stupid could that be?

A roar wanted to escape from inside him, but he gave his all to keep it locked. Sesshoumaru was furious, for the first time, with himself; he did not know what to do – He had not the slightest idea of how to proceed!

The Inu Lord was desperate and would go mad, destroying everything, everyone in that manor if he did not stop thinking about his stupidity. So, he buried his face on his left arm as he let himself fall on his bed and breathed.

In minutes, Sesshoumaru slept.

_The miko kissed his cheek very slowly as her tears rolled down her face. She stayed like this for a while, as though memorizing is scent and the feeling of his skin on her lips. When she pulled away, Sesshoumaru was quirking a brow and staring at her. And after what seemed like days, he narrowed his eyes._

"_This was not a hug.", he stated._

_Kagome swallowed the rock inside her throat and tried to laugh. "No… but at least this peck has more meaning than a hug for me."_

_He tilted his head. "I did not give this kiss to you. – You did."_

_The girl smiled and his heart throbbed. "You did too."_

"_Did I?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What makes you so sure?"_

"_You didn't stop me, did you?"_

_Then, she exploded in billions of pinkish fireflies._

And Sesshoumaru woke up.  
**_**

**End note:** Please, reviews? *-* I need to know what you all are thinking about this fiction so far, because I think I'll change it a little. Ok? Thank you!


	6. The love born of fireflies

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

(Garota Inu)

6. The love born of fireflies.

"Out of here, you despicable bastard! And don't come back before you're sober and have learned some manners!"

A man was thrown out of a big house, rolling on the ground until coming to a stop. Another man came out of the door, his face red from rage. "Stupid, idiot! If you write while drunk again, I will…. ARGH!" He exploded before going back inside.

It wasn't until the drunken heard the door close that he began laughing, making people stare at him, but he could care less. He made it! Now he had more time to finish his poem!

"Gemaru!", someone shouted his name and he didn't need to turn around to know who was it. "Gemaru!"

His damn fake cousin.

"Gemaru!"

"What?" he shouted, losing his patience. "Good gods, woman, I see you for six seconds after almost a year and I already want you to leave! – What is it?"

A middle-aged woman ran to him, but failed to stop in time and soon both were on the ground; Gemaru for the second time that morning. "I hate you."

"Tell this to someone who cares – Listen, I have good news!" The woman squealed excitedly.

Gemaru rolled his eyes. "Nori, you became rich?"

"No."

"Then, go the hell away!"

"I'm serious!"

"Me too!"

Nori moved back a little, looking kind of shocked and Gemaru saw his best friend's eyes filling up with tears. Crap. "Oh, no, no, no, no! You're not supposed to cry! What did I do wrong?"

"Were born." Nori said, stopping with her farce now that she got his attention. "Listen, there will be a wedding in my village tonight!"

Interest sparkled in the writer's eyes."A wedding?"Free food?

"Yes!"

"Who is marrying who?"

Nori's smile faltered for a second. "Who cares?"

Gemaru gave her the look. "You don't know, do you? – You live in a less-than-twenty-huts village and you don't know who is getting married? That's sad!"

The lady shrugged. "Whatever – anyway, are you going or not?"

Gemaru gave her the look again. Really, that question had better be rhetorical.

**x-•°•°•-x**

Inuyasha's village wasn't far; distance was not the reason why Gemaru and Nori hardly see each other, no. The real reason was that… they were just too lazy for that… And it was because of that laziness that for him – who was be lazier than Nori – a trip to Inuyasha's village would take a day.

'_Well…'_, he thought. _'At least I'm almost there.' _But he doubted he'd make it in time. _'I should have come with Nori… good bye, food.'_

It wasn't _that_ rare for him to eat, but it wasn't often enough either. And his stomach agreed with him by growling put loud. Gemaru was not a poor man, no. Poor people were poor because they had no money and no option. Gemaru was a runaway prince. Thrones, rules, tons of people to help him to do any and every little thing were not a life in his opinion. He liked to write, he was a romantic freak; all he dreamt for all his life up until now was fall _hard_ in love and be loved back just as intensely. He wanted to marry a woman and stay with the same woman forever; he wanted to live the deepest love story _ever_.

It was true that until now, Gemaru always got only half of his dream: women wanted him all around Japan – in his former life because of his wealth and incredible great-looks, and now in his peasant life because of his great-looks only. In his opinion, he was kind of stereotype: pitch-black, shoulder-length hair, ocean-blue eyes, pale skin, a thin nose, as tall as a door, slim torso, broad shoulders… Really, he was gorgeous. In everyone else's eyes; not his… Anyway, he never felt attracted to any of those women, no. They were fools, empty-headed, materialistic and superficial women with nothing but their cunt to offer.

Not that he accepted, of course not… It was they who kept offering it. In fact, he was still a clumsy virgin, waiting for the right woman to steal his heart, to take his breath away and make him smile without his consent. People he knew from his manor kept saying he was crazy and his search was useless because there was no such a woman in Japan. And there were times when Gemaru almost believed them – he even tried to give up, but his heart simply kept looking for her. Then, he fled away from home to find his beloved, taking only food and money. A lot of money. That's why he wasn't poor: because he _had_ money; money which the ex-prince always spent with nothing but food, but only when he really couldn't get it for free.

Today was one of those days Gemaru would have to use his money. He didn't mind spending it – since he did only when extremely necessary – but he was in the middle of a forest, for God's sake! There wouldn't be a tea house or an inn in miles ahead!

He was doomed.

Gemaru tapped his stomach when it growled and looked at the sky to see what time it was. Orange and purple… probably an hour or so before the sunset. He could barely see anything because of the tree tops.

He was late.

Nori was sooooo going to kill him…

"Bah.", Gemaru grumbled. It wasn't as if she could really do anything to him – she even wasn't truly his cousin!

He just met Nori a couple of months after he ran away from his family's castle; she appeared to fill a bucket in the same stream he was bathing in. In a normal situation where men act like men and women act like women, Nori would scream and turn around immediately while blushing and apologizing and he wouldn't even bother and would keep bathing in peace.

But Gemaru was nothing next to normal, was he?

So, in the end, he was the shy one who tried desperately to cover his body while Nori kept watching him with a enervating lifted brow, as if he was a silly boy who was exaggerating. And, in a way or another, he surely was indeed–– His foot got stuck under what seemed to be a root and Gemaru fell face first on something he was certain was not the dirt.

It was _oh so damn soft_ and fury that without thinking he pressed more his face on it, but before he could do it, a deep, icy voice sent him fleeing to the other side of the small, _small_ clearing.

"Remove yourself."

"Whoa! – Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry!" Gemaru bowed until his forehead touched the ground. "I beg your forgiveness; I didn't know _that_ was _you_. If I knew I would nev––"

"Quiet."

He did.

The youkai stood graciously from where he was seated before and the moonlight gave light to some of his face, making Gemaru's eyes widen. "Lord Sesshoumaru? Is that you?", he asked.

"Hnn."

His head was on the ground again in less than a blink. "Forgive me!"

"Enough." The taiyoukai ordered.

Gemaru winced. "Enough of apologies or enough of me living?"

"I begin to consider the later."

"No!"

"Then, do quiet yourself."

The young writer's heart slowly started to calm its beating and Gemaru took a deep breath to help, looking at the Lord as if he was an illusion. "May I ask what is my Lord doing in the middle of this forest and at this time of the night?", he asked politely. Truth to be told, he was really curious. "Maybe I may be of some service for you."

"I seriously doubt it."

"Me too." Gemaru smiled a little and his stomach chose that exact and inconvenient moment to growl as loud as it could and Gemaru grabbed his belly tightly as though lowering the sound of its growling was something possible. "I'm sorry."

Sesshoumaru blinked and ignored him. "I was hunting."

"Hunting… while sitting… Fascinating."

Sesshoumaru hid his annoyance. He should be already at the wedding, but for some unknown reason he felt he should delay his meeting with the miko. He was not quite ready to see her now after five months and that's why he was sitting under that tree: he was waiting. And, to be truthful, Sesshoumaru was not ready yet. So, he might as well indulge himself with a pastime.

"You may help.", he stated.

Gemaru promptly stood, fixing his clothes. "What do you want me to do?"

"Sit."

… he blinked once, then twice, confused as he watched the taiyoukai himself sit… Well, he sat too, across the Lord, feeling uncomfortable with the sudden silence. But it was expected, after all, the Lord of the West was very well known for his intelligence, power but not for his friendliness. Everyone knew he was a lonely and silent creature, but it was quite alright though, he could talk for them both. However, just when he was opening his mouth to pull the chain, the taiyoukai beat him at it.

"Prepare the fire."

Gemaru furrowed his brows. "I thought your species didn't cook the food…?"

"Yours does."

The writer tensed. "Oh no, please, don't bother with me – I can't hunt so I won't be eating." Troubling the Lord of the West wasn't a wise idea.

"My prey is large enough."

But… "How do you know?"

"It is running for you." And knowing the man would ask, Sesshoumaru added "I hid my aura and sat against the wind so it would not notice me and think you were alone: a good opportunity for a bear."

The poor bait gulped starting to feel the ground slightly shake under the weight of a running beast. "Very clever of you, my Lord, but… what do _I_ do?" he whispered.

"Just stay the way you are now."

'_Oh, it's easy for you to say!'_

Suddenly a roar broke the tense silence and a black, huge bear burst into the small clearing from behind him and Gemaru would have screamed if in the next second the bear's head were still on its place.

"Oh, my God…", he breathed. "Thank you, Lord Sessh–"

Gemaru stopped.

Sesshoumaru was gone.

**x-•°•°•-x**

His feet hurt.

He was used to walking long distances, but _God_, his feet hurt.

Sighing heavily, Gemaru more dragged his feet along the path than walked. Normally, it wouldn't hurt this bad, but this time he ran for what seemed like hours, trying to catch up with the Western Lord, though he knew he would never find him again; he was too human to do so. Maybe it'd have been better if he just kept his way to Inuyasha's village, after all, Sesshoumaru was a perfect inspiration, but he wasn't looking for inspiration for war or action tales. All he could write about was _love_; so intense he could taste it on his tongue.

Oh! How he wanted it!

The closest of love Gemaru ever been was when Nori declared her great love for him… after four hours knowing each other. That was proof enough that she didn't really love him, just like the others, then he rejected her. And true enough, she got over him quicker than she would, had she truly fallen for him.

Gemaru was taken from his thoughts by a joyous laughter and his reflex was to hide behind a very large tree. Not that he _needed_ to hide, it was really a reflex, after all, if someone is near him it's either to demand more tales and poems or… to demand more tales and poems; and since he was always late in his works…

"… end up killing your own mate, right?"

Gemaru heard the feminine voice saying. Probably the same that laughed a minute ago.

"Very sharp of you."

He tensed. Lord Sesshoumaru?

"Thank you."

With a _woman_? Were they the marrying couple?

Very carefully, inch by inch, Gemaru tiptoed to the edge of that tree, peeking on them. And gasped, clasping his hand over his mouth half of wonder and half of useless attempt to be silent. He could _bet_ Sesshoumaru heard him, but he could worry about this later. Just who was that gorgeous woman? He couldn't see well, of course, it was night already, but the moon – without the treetops to be in the way – was enough to illuminate her with its light. She was _beautiful_. Her silver kimono shone with the moonlight, giving the impression she was wearing the moon itself as her dressing, and the golden orb just made her more ethereal, unrealistic. Yeah, she definitely was the bride; guests couldn't dress up like she although he couldn't see much, he was almost certain she was youkai. She was too pretty to be human and Lord Sesshoumaru didn't associate with humans.

Trying to see better, Gemaru inched closer and accidentally stepped on a twig. There was no better word for this moment than _'Fuck!'._

He was soooo dead…

"That wolf…" Lord Sesshoumaru spoke. Wait, hadn't he heard him? Really?

"Oh, that's Kouga, prince of the eastern Wolf Tribe.", she answered. "Why do you ask?" Nice voice that woman has…

"No specific reason."

"… Okay."

"And that monk… He is carrying the void, is he not?"

The lady nodded. "The Kazaana, yes. – Naraku cursed his lineage. Fi–"

'_Now, wait just a second!'_ Gemaru gaped, now focused only in his thoughts.

Naraku, the evil hanyou who was after the shikon?Monk, the cursed one who could suck anything to the after-world?Kouga, the wolf prince? If she knew that much and talk so intimately about them, then she must be…

The sacred miko Kagome? HER?

"… you think Sango is stupid for marrying him?" Her altered voice brought him back to earth.

"I _know_."

"Sango's not like this."

Gemaru mildly blushed. She was prettier when she was angry.

"Should I assume you are trying to imply true love exists?"

The writer gaped again. Of course it does!

"Definitely." Yeah!

"Foolishness." No!

"I'm serious."

Sesshoumaru kept his head high. "I have never seen it in my entire existence."

"Well, you're seeing it now! – Sango and Miroku, not me.", she hurried to say when his brow quirked.

Gemaru sighed as he started, shocked, at the miko. She was… a romantic, too!

"Why not?" Lord Sesshoumaru asked. "How can you be so sure of something if even you haven't experienced such a thing before?"

Gemaru breathed deeply and held it, anxious for the answer she was about to give. She stayed still for quite a while, only breathing and looking down at the ground. Her nervousness was almost palpable and with he was one of the holy ones, he would surely be able to see her distressed aura. The miko suddenly took a great amount of air and clenched her eyes shut. "For all my life I've truly loved my mother, brother, grandfather and even my dead father. But always, always that feeling of something missing was with me and wouldn't let me be completely happy and, until I knew the meaning of the word _date_, that empty spot kept haunting me."

An explosion of feelings burned inside his heart and Gemaru thought he'd die as happiness and love made his chest swell.

He found her. He found her, he found her! The one he was waiting for! She was just like him!

"Living with this feeling for so long made me a romantic and since I was seven my dream has been to love and be loved equally. It seems that I've got only half of it…"

Gemaru's eyes couldn't get any wider. This Kagome, she… He understood her completely! And he was damn sure it'd me mutual if only she knew him... maybe. Yeah, maybe! Maybe he could talk to her! He could sleep here in Edo this night and talk to her tomorrow; tell her he understood, tell her he's been there too and tell her he knew exactly how her heart ached to have a hand to hold, a body to hug, lips to kiss… a heart to beat together with theirs.

And tell her he could give her all those things…

Gemaru was so euphoric he was having problems to breathe and not to go jumping around in happiness. The answer to his entire-life wanting was _right there_!

He couldn't ask for anything more!

Suddenly the whole clearing lighted up in green. "Oh, my gosh!", he heard Kagome gasping and watched she cover her mouth in wonder with both hands, making him lift a brow in confusion. Ok, the scene was gorgeous and all, but to have such a reaction…? It's not as if fireflies were rare to see, he used to do that all the time when he was a kid.

A wave of pure calmness and peace washed over him without warning, so strong he yawned the biggest yawn he could remember releasing and saw the flying bugs slow their speed considerably.

And then as if being hit on his face, the writer noticed a crucial detail he should've realized earlier and for that mistake he'd have to pay a price higher than any price his fortune could pay.

That meeting in the woods… it was too romantic.

**x-•°•°•-x**

Gemaru had been following them since Lord Sesshoumaru's attack of – as the miko said – crankiness, what he thought was ten minutes ago and the silence was killing him. He didn't know if they were comfortable or not in that lack of talk, but he was _not_!

His good mood was no longer good.

The best woman Gemaru ever came across… and she was taken.

Shaking those thoughts away, the ex-prince wondered how much longer he'd have to walk. The only thing he knew is that they were heading to the Sacred Tree and the reason was beyond him. Lord Sesshoumaru tried asking the miko, but she refused to answer.

"Ready?", she asked, stopping by the giant tree.

"What for?", he asked and Gemaru couldn't help but notice how tense his voice sounded. What was wrong?

"It's a Thank-you gift.", she said.

The Lord shook his head a little. "I do not wish for one."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that.", she smiled. "You don't even know what it is."

"A hug?"

Gemaru saw the miko step back, shocked. But why? Did Lord Sesshoumaru suggested a hug and she was offended? Was he trying to guess and she thinks that was a dumb guess? Oh, Gemaru didn't understand a thing!

"No, it's not a hug, Sesshoumaru." She said as she crouched down under the tree roots and brought a box out. Her voice came out so neutral and dead – a huge contrast of the previous voice – it hurt his ears. He knew that kind of voice, he knew she was hurt. "Sorry for not having anything better to keep it comfortable – I tried to buy a little cushion in a village, but Inuyasha wouldn't let us stop so I used a few of my clothes."

The box was opened and it was impossible for him to see what was inside it, however, what Gemaru was actually able to see was Sesshoumaru's urge to step back in pure shock, making him slowly die of curiosity. What was it? Gold? Rare antiquities? Whatever that was, it sure was one hell of a gift!

He didn't need presents, Gemaru wasn't materialist. All he wanted or needed was someone; not the perfect girl, only the perfect girl for him… only that. _'Is it too much to as–'_

Suddenly a glow sparkled strongly for a moment and Gemaru wondered if it was more fireflies, but soon found his answer to be negative. This glow was a little pinkish and it died as soon as it was born. When it died, and his vision got back to normal, Gemaru had to bite his tongue so he wouldn't make a sound because of his surprise. Was it real? Was that his a new left arm? _'Goodness, how can one be so powerful?'_

"Are you feeling your fingers?" he heard her cracked voice and he felt cold. It was so lifeless, with less singing and more stones, less sweetness and more coldness. But why? All of sudden the good mood was ruined! Was it something Lord Sesshoumaru did? "Good – I'm going back now. Do NOT overuse it for a while or else your muscles will hurt really bad.", she warned as she turned around to leave.

Gemaru was forced to move his eyes away so he wouldn't follow after her.

"Miko." Sesshoumaru's voice… pleaded?

"Don't worry, I won't ask for a hug as a payment, you can rest assured."

"Miko." He called with authority this time.

"Good bye, Sesshoumaru."

And then, Kagome – the one and only woman to ever get a hold of his heart in his entire life until now – faded in black among the trees.

It felt cold, too.

Gemaru was planning in marching angrily to where the Lord was and give him a _good_, _furious_ and _big_ piece of his mind, saying how impolite he was towards his bride and that he should chase after her because she was the perfect wife and if he wouldn't _he_ would! But when Gemaru stood and looked up, he found himself alone in the clearing and found a huge four-legged dog flying to the West.

It felt lonely.

He finally found the one… and she is someone else's. Yeah, she was dressed too beautifully to be a simple guest, and guests can't dress fancily, only the bride. Kagome was wearing a huge, silver kimono with the most elegant golden obi he had ever seen and her hair was showing. Guests could only wear common clothes; good, yes – pretty clothes, of course, but only common clothes. And really, it was pretty obvious that they were the marrying couple that escaped for a little alone-time and had an argument. Everyone does that… Everyone who is _marrying_ does that.

It felt really lonely…

Looking at the night sky, Gemaru sighed melancholy and the feeling was so great that he sat back on the ground and put his head between his hands. He lifted his bangs with his fingers while smiling sadly. He could even see his bright future with a wife, a wedding, kids, little fights, love nights, everything slipping away from his reach before he could even touch it… but at least he got his perfect love tale he needed.

Gemaru chuckled in a dark tone as his eyes burned with tears.

As if it really was a good consolation prize…

**x-•°•°•-x**

_Once upon an era of war, there was a dog prince who was well-known for his coldness, cruelty and power. Son of Lord Inu and Lady Karina, born on 17__th__ October in the year of 773, the prince was raised to be perfect. His kingdom was deep within the west and its fame reached places as far as one could think because of its prosperity._

_It was known by many that the prince had hundred and hundred of years behind him and it was also known that his intentions of finding himself a mate never existed; and after many more years, the idea of the west having a Lady once again passed to be considered impossible._

_Never, people would say._

_They were wrong._

_It is true that one night, love appeared before him as gentle as a firefly's light, shining in a shape of a woman that could very well be taken for a goddess, for she was the most beautiful woman to walk on these lands. Locks as black as the sea at night, her skin as white and flawless as a rose petal, dressing her body as a true queen would with a wedding garb made of moon drops and an obi made with a drop that fell from the golden sun._

_It was possible to see the prince falter before her beauty and kindness and it was possible to see the love falling, surrounding and flying around them like fireflies._

_They married that very night, it is known. Although there is a few who refuse to believe the cold prince had found a mate at last. This humble poet says: if they truly had not mated officially at that night, they sure did through their very eyes… For I was there in the moment where the thought of the West having a Lady once again was no longer an absurd._

_And I will never forget the day which Love finally found Sesshoumaru-sama._

**End note:** Oh my God, took too long to post, I know. My college and my writer-block's fault, I swear. Promise, I'll try not to do it again, but please… review? *-*'


	7. Not without that hug!

**Author's note:**

Guys… I really am sorry for my beyond-late update. So much has happened in my life and it ruined my mood to write for a while… But it's here, finally! \o/ - I didn't have time to review the chapter for mistakes, so I'm sorry for them. I'll review it later and post the corrected one.

**But BEFORE you read this chapter**!

Most of this chapter will happen in Sesshoumaru's garden, so please take look at this picture here (Just erase the parentheses): _ . _  
I searched and searched and it's the garden that looks like the most to Sesshoumaru's.

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

(Garota Inu)

7. Not without that hug!

"How did I end up here again?" Kagome asked Sesshoumaru who was sitting under the shelter of anextremely huge willow, watching her throwing pebbles in the pound.

Kagome was amazed by the beauty of that place, but even more by the fact that it was Sesshoumaru's backyard. She was still bitter towards the Inu lord; those hurtful words still tasting sour even after a week, but she couldn't help feeling lighter being in that kind of scenario, it was all green and_so_ beautiful. It seemed like it was sheltering them from the rest of the world; even more Sesshoumaru that was almost completely hidden behind the willow leaves.

"At the annual dinner, my council heard your speech about my leadership and was impressed by your loyalty. They pest me to pass my available time with you." Sesshoumaru explained for the second time, even though he hardly ever repeated himself.

"I know there's more to it." He heard her mutter as she threw another pebble. Of course there was more to it, but it was the farthest he could go. No matter how much he tried, he could not bring himself to tell her they sug– "They said I could be your mate, didn't they?", she suddenly guessed.

His heartbeat strangely. How embarrassing. "Hnn."

Kagome went silent after this, turning that information over in her head and asked. "And if I am here, does it mean you've accepted their suggestion?"

Sesshoumaru made sure not to look at her. "I brought you here in order to have peace."

"Then you're using me to fool them? Oh, it's always a great pleasure to be used by you, Sesshoumaru-sama." She said cheerfully, smiling at him.

"It's what allies are for. One assists the other when the necessity arises."

Kagome's mind automatically translated his sentence. '_It's what friends are for. One helps the other.'_ And she could feel the stone that wrapped her heart and that _he_ created a week ago crumbling down a little.

The priestess sighed. She was such a softie… "I guess so.", she murmured as she sat beside him, but just because she ran out of pebbles, not because now that she wasn't so mad at him she wanted to be close to the taiyoukai, no. Never. "Don't they care if I am a miko?"

He knew that unwanted questions were inevitable, but that was a reasonable one; he could answer that. "As long as you stay loyal, no."

Kagome leaned her head on the tree trunk, watching the wind play with the tree tops. "But our sons or daughters would be all hanyous.", she calmly said.

For a moment, Sesshoumaru pictured him having the miko bear his pups and, as a consequence, ended up picturing how they would _make_ said pups and a shiver ran down his spine. "The hanyou is giving a positive second impression at the manor. Very few still care about this matter as long as the father is a Taiyoukai, like your hanyou's case."

A strong pull tagged at her lips and Kagome tried not to grin stupidly as she felt what was left of the stone on her heart dusting away in a blink. She was too easy. "Well, if I were a PESBLE woman at least."

… What? "What?" He _had_ to ask.

"Why, PESBLE." She said as if he should know what that acronym meant. "Powerful, Elegant, Submissive, Beautiful, Loyal and Educated."

Sesshoumaru looked at her beside him, slightly surprised. She memorized all that… Why? "Why do you say that?"

She shrugged. Because if I were one, I could stay here and pretend to be your mate, so they would leave you alone and I would have a reason to stay in the past, watch over Inuyasha and prevent his going to hell…" she finished in less than a whisper, but soon she perked up and smiled nervously. Enough of sadness. "But I sure am not. Not everything at least."

Kagome thought Sesshoumaru wouldn't say anythingbut, if he did, he would've said_'Indeed. That cannot be helped, then. It was a good plan, though.'_ And he _did_ say something. However, it was entirely different from what she thought he would say.

He turned his eyes to the pound and said "You are."

Her head snapped at his direction; her mouth gaping and cheeks blushing. "But I'm not! I'm not beautiful or elegant, let alone powerful! – And I don't think I am submis–"

"You are correct." The taiyoukai said and looked at her. "You could never be submissive even if you wished for it."

There. Kagome's blush deepened and her heart skipped a beat. That sweetness she knew he had deep inside of him that was meant for those he cared for and that made her mind blur and body to beg for a hug, a caress, a k—her eyes fell from his eyes and looked a little lower. Those pale and thin lips which probably only a few – if not no one – had ever tasted…

A kiss… would be great.

But Sesshoumaru didn't seem to be thinking in the same line as her and, in fact, he really wasn't. The only thing occupying his mind was why did he do that? Why the sudden need to make the miko be sure of her beauty? – Of course, it was between the lines, but still a compliment; the meaning was the same: he called her beautiful, elegant, powerful, loyal and intelligent!

'_What is it?'_, he wondered, demanding an immediate answer from his brain. But nothing…

As if awakening from the deepest thought since ever, the miko blinked a few times and tried to say something. "Ah… Uh, but… I am not beautiful, Sesshoumaru, just normal…"

Again. That need again. "The fact that one does not show interest in a woman does not mean she is unattractive." Sesshoumaru said.

She scoffed. "Yeah, just less attractive than the other person…"

"It is merely a matter of opinion."

"Then, do you think I'm beautiful?"

"_Yes_."

Kagome blushed furiously, but didn't have time to properly react to that shocking answer, because a call from the distance broke the spell she didn't notice had settled between them and Sesshoumaru asked her to wait there for him and said that he would not take long, but she bet he would. This council was the worst. They were needed, but annoying anyway.

Grabbing her heart and squeezing her haori tightly, she buried her head between her knees and sighed loudly. _'I almost kissed him…!'_ If he hadn't blinked those golden hues and stayed frozen like he was the probability that she'd have her lips on his right now was ridiculously high. And then she would be watermelon jelly on the ground after the kiss - specially made by Sesshoumaru's claws.

But it was all his fault; only his.

After all, why all those compliments all of sudden? Saying she's beautiful, elegant and all - What was that for?! Was he in the mood to mock her too? Or was he just being kind? So many questions and no answers at all, but those questions were nothing compared to the most shocking, terrifying and revealing one...

When exactly did Kagome fell for Sesshoumaru?

Kagome sighed erratically while feeling her heart explode in sudden happiness. She was in love again. It wasn't like she loved two men at the same time as she thought before; it was just a different kind of love. But still, not like a brother or a best friend, no. It was just loving Inuyasha, that's all.

However, along with the happiness of being in love came the depression of the possibility of it being unrequited. And it hurt.

"When will you learn, you idiot?", she asked to her pulsing heart. "He'd feel insulted if he knew."

"Who?" That deep voice came from beside her.

Kagome screeched, jumping a little. "Damn, Sesshoumaru! Don't sneak up on me like this again, please!", she gasped. "God… I didn't feel you coming."

"I told you I would not be late.", the taiyoukai said as he stood beside the miko, towering over her sitting form.

"Yeah, but… even so…" Being in his presence after releasing her feelings for him from the dark depths of her mind and heart was overwhelming, but it was good. The problem was that her heart was beating so fast it could be easily be heard by Sesshoumaru, she was sure.

"Who?", he asked suddenly and watched as she leaned her head back on the tree trunk to look up at him. "Who what?", she said. And he blinked at her… cuteness. "Who were you talking to yourself about?"

"Oh." Kagome gulped ultra-discreetly and fixed her gaze on the willow, her cheeks blushing. "You."

So, she does not tell lies… "And what would I take offense in?"

"That", Kagome looked at him again, smiling, and winked. "Is a secret."

Sesshoumaru did not like secrets, but he liked respect very much, so he refrained from asking further questions. Usually he did not bother in being this considerate towards someone; however, for some time now, his nature towards the miko has been changed. He could remember a time when he could boil in anger because of her, when he could grab her by the neck and squeeze without limits, when he actually would love to see her dead… And the thinking about those things now was… most wrong; could not be more… outrageous. Impossible. As impossible as the fact – he realized it when his servant came for him – that he did not wish to go, not because he disliked his council, but for he wanted to _stay_. Because _she_ was there. The miko entertained him; kept the boredom and routine away.

He _liked _her company… He wanted her to stay.

"Aren't you going to sit?"

Sesshoumaru looked down at her and blinked. For some reason he knew it would not be wise to be eye-level with her. "No."

Kagome shrugged, trying to mask her embarrassment. So he noticed her early inner conflict about kissing him, huh… Now he didn't want to sit next to her. "So…", she began. "How long am I supposed to stay here?"

The taiyoukai furrowed his brow, piercing the top of her head with his stare just like she pierced his pride with her query. Did she wish to leave? Did she not enjoy his company as he did hers? "Do you wish to leave?", he voiced his turmoil.

Kagome shook her head. "That's not it. I'm just pulling the chain."

He shrugged. "Enough time for the council to become satisfied."

She nodded and then got up, smoothing her miko garbs, without looking at him. "I'm going first.", a bow. "Please, excuse me."

Sesshoumaru watched the miko leave, following her petit form with his gaze as his head tried vigorously to find the part in their little conversation that might have troubled her, with no success. Was it something he did? Say? Did he offend her in any way? Or maybe he said something rude?

'_Whatever ails you?'_, he wondered and soon came the answer, like a sudden wind in a breezeless day.

The kiss that did not occur and then his refusing to sit with her. She was not irritated, she was embarrassed. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes mentally and was going to walk after her, but when he really focused on her again, he saw the miko talking to one of the guards that kept the gates. She was gesturing her hands around, smiling, and soon the guard reluctantly smiled too.

Something burnt inside of him. What in the world was she doing?

He watched the miko laugh strongly and seek support by touching the man on his left shoulder. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes while his right hand rose up to rest on his left arm; the one she gave back to him. He did not find the view very pleasant, neither the view nor the reasons why he did not like it. Sesshoumaru was a prideful taiyoukai for many motives and one of them was that he never lies (and took pride on that). Never, to no one. A little deceive in the wars, of course, but he never lies, not even to himself. And for that reason, Sesshoumaru could proudly – and unwillingly – say that, for the first time in his long life, he really did not know what to do. The previous times he found himself in a complicated situation, he had options of what he could do to solve his problems and what he could not. He had had options. Now, he had not.

Sesshoumaru turned away from the chit-chatting couple and sat by the tree again, making sure that if she was to look at his direction, she would find his back turned to her. Maybe it was something to be considered childish, but he could not care any less. There was no one here to watch him. He closed his eyes, trying to turn her voice down.

It was easy to remember a similar situation that happened to his father centuries ago when he was still mated to his mother. His father saw her conversing to an inu who used to be her pursuer and the talk sounded to be very entertaining, for his mother would not stop chuckling. Sesshoumaru was not away from where they were sitting, so he knew what the subject was, unlike his father, who entered the garden just when his mother gave a little slap on the visitor's chest. He got furious, of course – Inuyasha had to have got that jealousy and thick-head from somewhere –, so he watched his mother gasp when his father turned his back on the chit-chatting couple and left the garden.

His mother never gasps.

Sesshoumaru was only eighty-seven at that time, so he did not understand why his mother was so upset, so shocked over that reaction from his father. Decades later, his mother explained what was the meaning behind the act of turning your back to someone.

Utmost disappointment.

"_Mother…"_

"_But do not worry, my baby, I have my ways of persuading your father to forgive me." She said that, but her eyes were still red and full of tears._

"_I am not worried." Claimed a little Sesshoumaru._

"_Of course, my baby.", she smiled._

_He stuffed his chest. "I am not a baby, mother."_

_Lady Karina pouted a little, her eyes moistening again. "You are not my baby boy…?"_

_Sesshoumaru's eyes twitched a little and his chest faltered for a second. His mother was always so full of life and although he preferred his quiet, introverted, composed, cold and emotionless personality, she completed him being this way: cheerful, cute and lovable. He sighed, letting go of his brave pose. "I… am." Lady Karina squealed and crushed him to her as she always did when he acted – as she puts it – overly cute. _

_He was ice and his mother was warmth._

He was the moon and Kagome the morning that chased the loneliness off his nights.

His hands ran through his hair as he sighed without his own permission. Sesshoumaru had been doing that a lot recently, things he did not use to do before: sighing, widening his eyes in shock, making more than three questions about a subject that was not business… _'She is the one to blame.'_ he thought as he inhaled deeply, suddenly catching her scent in the air. And letting it surround him. The scent was so strong he could close his eyes – which were already closed – and pretend she was right there, sitting beside him. But he never heard anything approaching him, so that was impossible. Sesshoumaru inhaled her scent again and he felt his hands twitch once.

He wanted. Wanted _badly_.

But what?

"Sesshoumaru?"

…

… Act as if not startled. "Hn." He opened his eyes and there she was, crouched in front of him with a pleading look in her huge blue eyes, and that confused him. "What is the matter?", he inquired icily, determined not to be weakened by the tear trail he could see on her face.

"I…" Kagome started, not daring to look at him. "I wanted, uh, I want – Oh, gosh…"

"Do not stutter and say it at once.", he ordered. "What is it that you want?", feeling stupid for he knew he would grant her desire.

The miko suddenly looked at him, her eyes moistened and red, but with such longing and loneliness that he almost asked again, but with curiosity not with the indifference he so missed.

"I…", she tried again. "I want you."

Sesshoumaru fought the urge to widen his eyes to the size of sauces, feeling his heart beginning to run wildly. He was unable to take his eyes off hers. And because of that, he watched with great astonishment her leaning forward to crash her lips on his. What happened next was something Sesshoumaru would have never pictured if he were one to picture something. Usually kisses begin with only the lips touching and playing and nibbling and then would start the proper kiss; if the female allows, that is.

Kagome reversed it all.

The miko kissed him with her lips already parted and invited his tongue to dance with hers in a kiss that was desperate. Sesshoumaru decided to stop. They should not be kissing; he was reluctant of _hugging_ her, so how could he _kiss_ her? She nibbled his bottom lip. They should stop. She laid her hands on his arms as she slowed their pace to a provocative kiss. He should stop that kiss. He tilted his head to the side to taste her better (he always thought she would taste differently). He will stop that non-sense. She straddled him. took his face on her hands, like a male would do. He wanted to bury his on her hair and pull her close, but somehow, for some reason, he just didn't.

"Say you love me." The miko whispered, ordered, demanded – he was not sure; he just wanted to know why she stopped kissing him. But something was off with her voice… Where was its usual warmth? Sesshoumaru blinked twice and was going to look at her, but she pulled him by his nape to a violent kiss.

… Just like a male would do.

He grabbed her by the neck and clutched hard as he stared at _her_ face with his bloody red eyes and growled from deep inside his fury. And now that his mind was not foggy any longer, it was not hard to guess who it was. "_**How dare you?**_" 

**x-•°•°•-x**

Kagome tried. _Really _tried.

She tried to keep away from him, to don't give the impression she was sticky, annoying and desperate, but she just… couldn't; they stayed apart for months before the wedding and one week after that. She wasn't exaggeratedly sticky, but that was too long! So, what she thought was one hour since she left Sesshoumaru – but actually was only fifteen minutes – after she walked in her bedroom, Kagome sighed exasperated with herself and headed back to the garden again, determined to forget her embarrassment and act naturally as she always had.

Who would have thought? _Kagome_ in love with _Sesshoumaru_. A warm feeling spread through her entire body as she sped up her pace, dying to see- She halted. '_What the hell?_'

Kagome had passed through many fantastic things since her arrival in the Feudal Era, some were so impossible she still has a hard time believing, but an extra-corporal experience was a first and the strangest one by far. Seriously, what was she doing sitting on Sesshoumaru's lap kissing the air out of him?

"Say you love me.", she – _her_ – whispered.

Kagome blushed. _'What?'_ and looked at Sesshoumaru. Yeah, she was shocked, but she couldn't help but to wait for the answer. But it never came… Then her extra-body went back to kissing, and Sesshoumaru's reaction made Kagome gasp in horror and dread.

He strangled her.

"HOW DARE YOU?" she heard him roar and his voice made her remember that if she was herself, who was _her_?

She immediately ran to him, worried. "Sesshoumaru, what i––"

All the air she had in her lungs she sighed out in pain, and all she could do when that tentacle left her insides was fall back to the ground and welcome the dark.

Sesshoumaru watched Naraku smile mockingly at his question with _her_ lips, which was not a pleasant view, and when he heard her true voice coming from behind, he turned in time to see the creature's arm stretch out to a tentacle and bury itself inside her chest.

Everything slowed so down…

Sesshoumaru stared at her fallen body on the ground with shock plastered all over his face; his breathing never so shallow and loud before. This wasn't happening. That surely was an illusion Naraku trapped him in. There was no way she was dead.

The word 'dead' worked like a spell and then everything happened too fast. The hand holding Naraku's neck dug its claws into the flesh and the other helped by tearing his head out of the body. He wanted blood on his hands, but all he got was mud. A puppet.

"So you _do_ love her, huh?", _his_ voice echoed in the air.

The taiyoukai ignored the damned and light-sped to the miko's side, crouching beside her body and picking her upper-half up. "Miko.", he called urgently. He could feel her heart beat. The weakest he ever heard. _'No..'_ "Miko!" he shook her and noticed her eyelids trembling before opening her eyes. He breathed. Never had he paid attention to how blue they were. She looked at the ground beside her, frightened, her eyes watering in fear as she tried to crawl away. He turned her face to him. "Do _not_ worry about them, look at me."

Sesshoumaru didn't want to use Tenseiga on her now. He could use it on someone only once and he was saving it for the final battle if needed was. If he was to save her now… how could he save her later? He saw the girl turn her eyes to him, try to smile, wanting to say something but was unable to. His hearing was completely fixed on the beating of her heart, relieved for the ones it beat and hoping for the next. The miko whispered something. It was so low and shattered that he had to shake his headdefeatedly. He waited.

…

"_Thanks for listening…"_

His heart clenched. And clenched painfully.

He was sure that he will never figure out what had dreaded him the most: whether it was the sound of her breathing stopping or the light of her eyes vanishing or her heart finally giving up or the putrid scent of death grazing her skin – he didn't know. All he knew was that those glassy eyes, the still heart and death did not suit her, none of them did, and he wanted everything back! But it was so risky that it was absurd. He had only two options: either he brings her back only after the battle, which means subjecting himself to an undetermined period of time without her, or brings the miko back now and protect her like no one ever before, but still risking to lose her and lose her forever.

He was lost.

Now that her heart was as still as his body, not making any sound, only now he noticed how fast it used to beat when she talked about her issues or asked for a hu–– Sesshoumaru stopped. Stopped thinking, blinking, breathing, he stopped.

This woman died without that hug… without hearing him saying her name even once… without that kiss she thought of earlier… without the love she so craved. Just like him. Without love.

He could protect her. Save her now and protect her properly in the final battle, his brother was going to be there as well, so it wass even more protection. And that wolf. He could do it. It was not necessary to pass this long time until the battle without her, because she would _not_ die again. He wouldn't let her. Besides…

She would not go away without that hug.

Sesshoumaru put her body back on the ground so gently that it didn't even make a sound and stood, hands already on Tenseiga's grip, drawing the sword. He narrowed his eyes so he could see the imps that were burdened with the honor of carrying her soul and when he did, he sliced them in half graciously for even daring. Death did not suit her. She was too good to die.

He waited. Almost anxiously. The thought of being without her for too long clawing at the back of his mind was just adding to his anxiety. When it became too much for him to bear, he called "Miko." The lack of answer bothered his insides. He tried harder. "Kagome…"

It felt strange, foreign. But tasted _good_.Yet…

"_Kagome._"

Why wasn't she answering? 

**x-•°•°•-x**

"Sesshoumaru is a pompous bastard.", a red-cladded hanyou spat as he floated in a lake near the East border. "A spoiled prick who wants everything for himself, especially when it's someone else's.", he grumbled. "I hate him, I'll kill him."

"You know you don't and won't."

"Of course I do! He tried to steal Tessaiga from me more than once, now it looks like he's trying to take _Kagome_!" Inuyasha growled, creating ripples on the water.

"So is it okay for Kagome to kill Kikyou?"

"WHAT?!"

"That's what you're saying. Kikyou is taking you from her, so if it's okay for you to kill Sesshoumaru, who – I have to remind you – is you brother, for taking Kagome from you, then it's alright for her to finish Kikyou."

His growling increased in loudness and intensity, refusing to acknowledge this logic. But he knew it was pointless since he indeed wouldn't kill his brother, nor did he hate him. It did _not_ change the fact that he was pissed and wanted her back, though.

"You're too possessive."

"Don't need you saying that to me, Mr. My Woman."

Kouga smirked bitterly, still looking at the clouds above. "I might still call her that, but I know I don't stand a chance.", he discreetly swallowed the lump in his throat. "I never did… I've loved her so much, but she only has eyes for you – It's like I'm a Kagome, she's an Inuyasha and you're the ghost from fifty years ago.", he said before sinking his face in the water to mask his tears. "The only difference is that I know you'd never want her to die."

Feeling his heart clench when the memories of his time thinking she was dead came crashing on him, it was Inuyasha's turn to sink a little. "We're a bunch of crying pups, ya know?", he joked without any humor.

Kouga hummed in agreement. "Tell me that at least you understand the situation; don't make want to really kill you."

"Kagome talks in her sleep sometimes." he started as he raised his dripping-wet hand to watch the drops fall. "And I heard her mumbling once 'Why wouldn't I want to love you, Inuyasha?' – I hope ya know what she meant by _love_–"

"'Course I know! Oh, God, so gross! Can't believe I heard that!"

"Well, then, that's when I knew Kikyou doesn't love me right, that it's more of a whim or something, like she just wants me to show that she got who she wanted." And he knew Kagome would never drag him to hell even if he'd promised her that, even if she wanted him to go… Even if he did want to go… She would never do that.

"Yeah." Kouga shrugged. "Took you long enough."

"No." Inuyasha shook his head, blinking annoyingly when a little water got in his ears. Seriously, if it wasn't their powerful refuse to stink with each other's scent, they would be somewhere dry."Took me too damn long."

"Yup.", the wolf chuckled. "If it was me, I would've marked her the moment she kis–"

"All riiiiiiight, don't need your details!"

Kouga smirked. "Virgin."

"Hanyou.", he justified.

Suddenly, while inhaling a particular breath, Inuyasha noticed something was different. Suddenly there wasn't tranquility anymore, it was as though if he moved even a strand of his hair he'd open his eyes and realize he was still pinned to that tree... and that thought alone was able to get him in a terrible flap.

What was going on here?

"Oi, mutt - what happened?" Kouga asked when Inuyasha sank for a second before crawling out of the water.

Inuyasha shook the water from his body, pushed his hair away from his face and looked down at his arch-enemy with troubled eyes. "Ya're not feeling this?" he asked. "This shitty feeling?"

The wolf tried, but could feel nothing strange. "What are you talking about?"

"Fuck, it's terror - It's like someone gave me an explosive and all I can do is wait in agony, 'cause I know all I'll have after this is hell... or worse.", Inuyasha said after a thought. "It's breath-taking in a bad way..." His voice broke. "I'm desperate..."

Kouga unconsciously shivered, quirking his brow to the new side of the mutt he just witnessed. Was he really so terrified he would show him - the muggy wolf - this vulnerable side? _'Something must really be wrong... But what?'_

When this kind of situation arises, Kouga always thinks of one thing first; this time was no different. "Hey, mutt - where's Kagome?"

To say her name was the same as to lightening the explosive in Inuyasha's hand.

Tessaiga pulsed...

And Inuyasha exploded.


	8. Mutual mourning

**CAN I HUG YOU?**

**(Garota Inu)**

**Mutual mourning.**

He used to call them stupid…

_Thanks for listening._

To judge them weak...

He used to find their suffering pointless...

_Thanks for listening._

They truly had no reason to weep.

Warriors back from war, find their destroyed homes.

Find themselves alone.

No more sire, no more pups or wives.

No more their own lives.

_Thanks for listening._

They were fools in his golden eyes. Of course, he understood that losses were losses, but they should look ahead, straight up their posture and carry on, using their (foolish) pain as a determination to become stronger... But not anymore.

Now, in his scarlet eyes, they are no longer fools.

_Thanks for listening._

They are males who lost the few things that were good in their immortal lives; the few who ever contributed to make them who they are today...

Rain is pouring down ruthlessly, soaking the region to its depths, and he just stands there on all fours at the beach, staring at the horizon, but seeing nothing, feeling nothing. His entire being feels dull and his senses so numb he feels human, and that made him realize that he has never been the cold and emotionless demon people – including him – claims him to be, that he indeed feels; and that now he is experiencing how it is to feel nothing at all. It is a good thing in a way yet, it's the last thing he wants.

Kagome deserves to be mourned.

Sesshoumaru remembers the day he found the miko here in this very place, surrounded by sharks and smelling of nothing but salty water, he had thought she was dead and it happened she was not. Now, four days ago, he thought she would be alive…

And it happens that she is not.

The gigantic hound demon lets out a sigh, forming a cloud of warm breath in cold air from his muzzle. He had made a decision and, as always has been, expects results from it. Why is she not alive yet? He needs her! For what purposes is a mystery, but what matters is that he does! It i—

A chill runs down his spine and he breathes, alarmed.

Someone just broke into her mausoleum. .

x-•°•°•-x

A few days ago, the current Lord of the West had a small, marble mausoleum built near the West manor Royal wing to guard the body of one of his allies. However, strangely, said Lord has given the strict order that no soul is to even _cogitate_ the idea of approaching the mournful place for whatever purposes. The servants were very curious, but nobody dared to disobey his command. Everyone has been warned; soldiers, servants, or any being residing in his household know the place is prohibited.

Inuyasha does not.

Red eyes seize the wall that protected the manor, scanning it to check if he can jump it or not. Sure he can. He can jump over it, he can dig his way under it, or he can simply climb it. For her he can do anything. But he _will_ bring down that part of the wall. The now youkai sniffs the air to get at least a trace of her precious scent and when he finds it, an whine comes from his fang-parted lips in agony and longing. She is dead. She really _is_ dead! _'Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead––'_

These thoughts – this realization – alone are enough to make him punch the wall with the strength of a bunch of rhinos, creating a huge crater and causing the entire wall to tremble. Another punch. And another. A tear. One more punch. A sob. Inuyasha doesn't know anymore if he wants to get to Kagome or if he wants Sesshoumaru to just come and send him to where she is. But he does know that he just _has_ to get this wall down.

And down it goes.

With a punch that carries all his pain, tears and longing to be with her again the wall crumbles to the ground with a deafening noise that he's sure Sesshoumaru heard. _'Come. – And do what you should've done two hundred sixty-two years ago.'_, Inuyasha wishes as he speeds towards the marbled mausoleum where she is in. _'Kill me.'_

He reaches the door, wasting no time in kicking it open and it isn't hard to spot his wench. His eyes fall on her, lying on those futons raised from the ground. And the pain that wrecks his heart is so painful and breathtaking that Inuyasha doubles over, sobbing in a mute cry, grabbing the door for support until it's too much and his body slides down on the wall and sits, his head on his knees and his fists on his eyes as he sobs and wails without a single sound; the spasms of his body too strong to let him make a sound. But then, something clicks, and in a blink he is on the bed, hugging her on his lap, smelling her and _crying his lungs out_. The last time he cried like this was when his mother died and never again.

Until now.

Inuyasha breathes. "Nooo… No, no, no, no…" Why is he so surprised? What had he expected? To barge in here and see her just getting up from the bed, cracking her neck while complaining about not moving for days and needing a bath? "What...", he sucks in much needed air. "What am I without you…? Kagome…"

Inuyasha lies on the coffin-like bed bringing her to his side and clings to her body for all that's worth and more, burring his nose on her neck and licking it. He keeps alternating between chaste kisses on her lips, licking her cheek and nuzzling her hair for her scent, but whining when he catches death among morning – all the while wondering what is taking Sesshoumaru so long. .

x-•°•°•-x

Feeling an important place being trespassed, a huge white dog roars and disappears with homicidal purposes. .

x-•°•°•-x

Inuyasha wonders if he'll ever stop crying, if his tears will ever end. It sure doesn't feel like it. And somehow, he is content with that. "For-give me, mate.", the hanyou whispers, as if to not disturb her sleep, but kisses her lips again for the whateverth time. "Forgive me, Kagome."

_Stupid_

Inuyasha gasps and looks at her with wide, swollen, puffy gold and red eyes, searching for a sign that she indeed just called him stupid. But nothing; his lips tremble. As dead as she can be.

_There's nothing to forgive_

He winces and buries himself deeper in that hug, whining. "Stop it, wench… you're dead…"

_But I'm here with you, aren't I? Even in death_

Inuyasha looks up at her face from under his bangs to check if she really isn't talking. She isn't. So, he concludes, he finally lost it. The hanyou tightens his grip on her, deciding that he doesn't mind this madness creeping in in the least.

_I loved you_, her voice echoes in the space.

Deciding that he _likes _it.

Inuyasha half-sobs half-laughs, his blood-golden eyes gleaming. "I know", he nuzzles his face on hers. "I still do…"

_Why didn't you say so, then?_

"Oh, Kagome… I'm terrible at it.", a lick on her cheek. "You know that." She stays quiet for a moment and Inuyasha despairs a little, thinking she's gone, but sighs heavily when he hears her again.

_You know he's coming, right? You should leave_

"Yeah." But he closes his eyes and cuddles sleepily beside her, bringing one of her arms over his waist to feel her embrace. "But I never planned on living more than you, anyway."

_You are not dying_

_I won't let you_

"Kagome," Inuyasha sighs, exhausted. Weak. "There's no sense in living if you are… gone." He could die while she lives, but never could he live while she's dead. He understands it now. "You know… I don't love you because you're Kikyou's reincarnation – I don't love you because I loved Kikyou.", a smile blooms in his lips. "I just loved Kikyou then because she was to be you." He understands it now.

And it was one hell of a confession. Even he liked it. Inuyasha just wishes she were alive to hear it.

Suddenly, the earth is shaking so strongly Inuyasha considers an earthquake for a second, but his nose knows better. He knows it's only a certain bastard that decided to come running instead of flying to get him. Either he wanted to put his long-time-not-seen left leg to use or the dog is really furious; and Inuyasha strongly believed it's the later.

Good.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Silence. He shrugs and resumes his nuzzling. "I'm coming to you, anyway. – We can talk then."

The earth stops quaking, giving place to a quick gust of warm wind to enter the mausoleum and blow his and Kagome's hair all around for a second, and he knows it's only his brother expressing his annoyance in a canine way. Inuyasha glances at the door and there's a gigantic red and teal eye peering inside, but doesn't move from his place in her arms. "What?", he asks. A deep growl is the answer. "No way. I'm not moving." He intertwines his legs with hers to emphasize and his brother barks, outraged. "I'm not leaving her!"

Sesshoumaru snarls, growls and hits the ground with a paw with his entire wrath. He had gotten calmer when he scented it's his brother the one who broke in, glad it is not a stranger or even Naraku, but seeing his moronic half-sibling violating the deceased Kagome's personal space and smelling his tears as well as saliva all over her makes him see red. The only thing keeping him from destroying the ceiling and biting the intruder out is Kagome. He would not risk damaging her body.

"Why don't you come in and get me yourself?" Inuyasha suggests, caressing her cheekbone. "Too angry to transform back?"

Indeed, that is the case. Being this furious can disrupt one's focus and reasoning to the point of being unable to concentrate enough for the transformation. This is the very first time Sesshoumaru finds himself in this predicament. It is a bit humiliating, but insignificant since his hurt has all his thoughts and entire devotion. All he wants is to mourn – lay down wherever, stay there and think of hugs until he can't miss her anymore – and the half-breed is in the way, hence he is so angry. Sesshoumaru, however, is an intelligent and mature demon. He knows how to calm down.

It takes him a couple of minutes, but soon he is standing in there, leaning on the doorway with crossed arms and closed eyes facing Inuyasha.

"How?", his cracked voice mutters, but it's the question that startles Sesshoumaru. He had secretly hoped Inuyasha would be too heartbroken to ask questions he did not want to answer. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be the case. "Was it painful?"

"Her chest was pierced." He remarks. "It was quick." _'She did not suffer'_ is what he wanted to say.

"And… Is it true about Tenseiga? You used it?"

Sesshoumaru forcefully keeps his eyes closed. "How can you know about this?"

Inuyasha shrugs weakly. "Rumors run fast.", he clears. "So you used it and still…?"

The taiyoukai only nods reluctantly.

New tears break through his refusing eyes with new force, larger and thicker than the previous ones. Soon, Inuyasha is whimpering quietly and it reminds the taiyoukai of times when _she_ was the one crying for him and then he is talking before his notice. "Near a year ago, I found her wandering in the woods in the middle of the night. The miko was depressed, claiming you are to follow the undead to hell. – Will you?"

This is an easy answer. "No. I want to go where she is and she'd never go to hell." There is a pause where Inuyasha gulps, wipes his tears off and finally looks at his older brother that still has his eyes closed. "That's why I'm here, I… Can you send me there?"

Sesshoumaru frowns, a low growl rumbling through the place. He opens his mouth to call him worthless, stupid and pathetic; to tell him he had been wrong in letting an unwelcomed respect for his hanyou brother grow, but closes it without saying anything, horrified that this idiotic hybrid's idea suddenly almost makes… sense. "Go away.", he demands instead. "Tenseiga has preserved her body until now, however, it has been four days since the miko's…" Sesshoumaru halts and curses himself for his inability to say the impossible that has happened. "Her body will soon…" **She can't be dead.** "Start to…" **No…** "I–"

Inuyasha looks at his brother's state through his tears: eyes closed with force, heavy breathing, tense shoulders, and clenched fists. Obviously fighting something, probably his primal instincts that – if Inuyasha were to guess – he bets are telling him to crawl under some roots and sulk. And that can mean only one thing… His eyes go wide. "No way."

This brings Sesshoumaru back to his senses. He breathes and bites, "What?"

"Asking for her to stay here, building this, getting pissed at me for breaking in…" Inuyasha's brows furrow in a somewhat sympathetic way as he murmurs. "You love her." This isn't a question. And Inuyasha watches shocked Sesshoumaru snarl, baring all his teeth to him and opening his eyes; red with teal irises – not even a drop of gold to indicate that he still has some control, like his brother. It's the real Sesshoumaru, the to-hell-with-appearance wild dog that they all are deep down, and has been since he transformed back to humanoid form. That's why he wouldn't open his eyes.

"Leave this place!" The taiyoukai hisses dangerously. He's never been a considerate brother and is not about to be now only because this time he knows how much the hybrid is hurting. His eyes flame when he sees the hanyou hug her tighter. _'Can I hug you..?'_ Her words caress his mind and he whimpers, but barks "Do not make me repeat myself, brat."

"Or what?"

"I will do so while painting these walls red with your blood and hang your pathetic insides outside as a warning." Sesshoumaru whispers darkly, smirking at the imaginary sight, suddenly feeling like granting Inuyasha his wish. The half-breed snaps his head to him in a flash and what he sees there renders him speechless.

Wanting.

"Promise?"

The taiyoukai frowns at the pathetic display of weakness. The moron is mourning, his pain raw and fresh, and this much Sesshoumaru can acknowledge, however, he finds it difficult to grasp the idea of people wishing to die because of beloved ones' passing. He believes that there's no honor or courage or nobility in dying for those who are dear. If you love them, _live_. For them.

For her.

A low and humorless chuckle interrupts his thoughts and he blinks, eyeing his brother with an indifference that has not been there for a long time. "I don't expect you to get it." Inuyasha says as he gets up to a sitting position, Kagome's head resting lifelessly on his lap as he plays with her hair. The scene is wicked beyond explaining; clearly showing his younger sibling still faintly believes she's just sleeping. Her literally white skin and purple lips beg to differ. "Too wrapped up in your own ass for ages that it's impossible for you to understand now." He stops and looks startled to the dead miko before shaking his head furiously and continuing. "I know what you're thinking. – That dying for someone who's gone is stupid and that we should stay here instead so they can be remembered." The lord's silence only confirms it and Inuyasha smirks. "Well, I hate to break it to you, but they _don't fucking care!_", he shouts. "They're dead and couldn't care less if we live or die! For all that we know they could even not remember any of us anymore, so why, huh? Why do I have to stay here, alive and in agony, while they float in sweet nothingness?" Inuyasha pants and breathes, pure liquid rage dancing in his eyes and coursing through his veins. Not towards his brother, but at the small hand in his that refuses to warm under his body heat. "It's not the dead who suffer, Sesshoumaru. They are fine now. It's the ones who stay behind that've got to do without them." Then his voice cracks in a heart-wrenching way. "We are the ones who've got to live without her here…"

'_Thanks for listening'_ Sesshoumaru mutely flinches. His brother's logic does have some logic, but something is wrong. Those words are true to every being – living or dead – in the planet, but it's the miko they are arguing about. Kagome not caring about them because she is in the after-life? Hardly. He pierces his brother with a glare that makes clear he is in the verge of ripping him from that bed if he continues to violate her the way he still is. "I shall not be the one your death to bring – The most hypocrite moron to walk on this land… One second from condemning the girl to a life knowing you would be burning in hell, sparing her no thought. Now _here_ you are, unwilling to live without her presence. All in all, it is acceptable for you that she would miss you and hurt, but God forbid you go through the same." The Inu smirks uncharacteristically wide that it reaches his blood narrowed eyes. "Isn't it right, brother?"

He takes a step and he is already at Inuyasha's ear, hovering from behind the couple. "Live with it."

**End note:** Chapter nine is already half done! I won't take another year to post it, I promise x-x And I'm sorry. Reviews to tell me how the chapter is? *-*


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